Dude, your sister's hot. That's not cool. Gimme 50 hamburgers. Puff. Yes, these are the sounds of the new TV campaign against the gentle herb. They are, in a word, superextrastoopidfunny. You know what else is funny? They chose a TV campaign because they knew all the lazy dirtbag stoners would be watching it anyway. Ha.
All of the spots focus on teenagers. This is presumably because they are easily influenced by television, are at a stage in their life in which they have to make a lot of decisions, and because parents are more easily freaked out when they can associate an image with their kid.
Man oh man, but those kids sure do get into adult size trouble, like manslaughter or molestation or pregnancy. The spots push the message that marijuana is indeed seriously harmful, but the inference is that teenagers shouldn't smoke weed because they aren't ready. Trix is to kids as these anti-weed spots are to...? The answer is parents.
Teenagers do what they want, which usually involves weed. Parents, on the other hand, actually pay attention to television and feel a need to constantly worry about their children. These new anti-drug spots recognize the power that parents wield and go straight for the parental Achilles heel: worry.
So, according to television, there are three types of behavior that weed provokes in teenagers. The first is acting like a teenage boy, that is to say, distracted. The consequence for acting like a teenage boy is that there must be a manslaughter committed accidentally by those careless, irresponsible fools.
The second kind of behavior is drunkenness. Girls sure do get slutty when they're drunk, I mean high, right. That one has to kill the dads. They picture a boogie van, like the one The Clipse has in its video, with the red light and the bed, that's pretty cool; oh wait, my daughter, you heartless bastards you.
The third behavior is driving drunk. It's kind of an offshoot of behavior two. Apparently, in almost all accidents in which drugs or alcohol were involved, marijuana was present in the driver, who was drunk. They skip the whole part about weed staying in your system for a month. It's conceivable, then, that the statistic is bunk because being high had nothing to do with crashing in at least some of those cases.
Apparently, Americans were getting too comfortable with the idea of recreational marijuana usage. Mothers need to be scared, because weed will make your teenagers act exactly like teenagers. Someone I knew once crashed a car because he took a turn too quickly. The impetus for recklessness you ask? One might say it was because the bowl wouldn't light, and the prolonging of his soberness irked him and he took it out on the road, which would be right in a sense. It would be more correct to say that the impetus was being a stupid teenage boy.
The desire to put blame on weed, or terrorists, or an evil leader is fine with me. It's a useful delusion for those who are lazy about the task of perception. There's a whole lot of blame floating around, just waiting to be foisted, and you have to put it somewhere. You can tell a lot about people's specific delusions just by seeing where they put blame. Some fat people blame McDonalds. I blame myself, because that is what I am usually thinking about.
