A year ago I made the mistake of asking a friend of mine what her boyfriend got her for her birthday.
\He bought me a $75 vibrator!"" she gushed, grinning like it was a new car. I started to laugh; a loud snorting kind of laugh that made some of the people drinking coffee at the tables around us turn and stare. Jenn informed me that I was an asshole. Then she huffily explained that, for my information, he bought it for them to use together, in their special Jenn and Adam alone time. Indeed.
Turns out, a vibrator is more essential of a tool than most of us give it credit for.
Your basic vibrator is battery powered, phallic shaped (that means it looks kind of like a penis) and made of plastic (sometimes with a soft silicone cover). A really good vibrator like the Hitachi Magic Wand can easily set you back $75 or more, but basic starter models can be obtained for between $15 and $25.
There are three myths about vibrators that I feel are very important for me to debunk.
1. Vibrators are for insertion. While most vibrators are designed so that they can be inserted into the vagina (and in some models, the anus), it's far more common for them to be used externally. For women, the vaginal canal is far, far less sensitive than the clitoris and the labia. Just as most women masturbate by rubbing or manipulating the clitoral area rather than inserting objects or fingers into the vagina, women who use a vibrator are much more likely to prefer the sensation of moving it slowly against their external genitalia.
2. Vibrators are just for women. We gals sure do love our vibrators, it's true, but men use them too. There are vibrator models that are designed specifically for men (vibrating silicone sleeves that fit over the glans and shaft of the penis, for instance) but a lot of men who use a vibrator just buy the basic, cheapo phallic model and rub it up and down the underside of the penis (one of the more sensitive areas), and around the glans. (The 'head' for those of you who haven't taken my class.) Men sometimes also enjoy resting the vibrator against their testicles or rubbing it around the anus. (Don't ever insert a vibrator INTO the anus unless it has a flared base, otherwise it could slip in and get stuck up there. Dude, I'm serious.)
3. Vibrators are for solo masturbation. I hate to break it to you, but if you're one of the 12 percent of the population that hasn't figured this one out yet, heterosexual vaginal penetration alone is amazingly inefficient at bringing women to orgasm. That's right, guys, just sawing away down there probably doesn't do much for your partner. You have to stimulate the clitoris directly somehow, either with fingers, through oral sex or (guess what!!) with a vibrator. Lots of heterosexual couples use them together. Sometimes they place it between them during intercourse, and sometimes they take turns using it on each other before, after or even instead of, vaginal intercourse.
So sorry I laughed, Jenn. I guess the message for this week is that there really is such a thing as better living through technology (and AA batteries.)
