Unrequited love is easier to forget when there is a boob in your hand.
At least that's how it works when you're a guy. I don't know if it's easier for girls to forget things when there's a wang in their hand. Every time I have a wang in my hand, I'm not forgetting much.
I mean, unrequited crushes are fairly easy to predict. When you've got a crush on someone you tend to act like an idiot. Ask the bard. It tends to be very unattractive. Why would the crusher want to get together with such a lame-o as a person with a crush? The fact that you so obviously have a crush is positive feedback to the crusher. They will keep the person with the crush nearby. That gives the crushee positive feedback and develops the crush further.
I suggest being open-minded about the whole thing. Over a series of crushes, I have gotten less and less committed to wish fulfillment and more and more committed to enjoying being an idiot. The constant thinking and waiting are pretty fun. Relating everything that happens on TV or in books that you are reading to your petty little existence is easier when you have a crush.
It's a learning tool; like a mnemonic device or speed. You too can use it, but you have to be careful not to let it use you. It's okay to let the crusher think that they are emasculating you. If you don't focus on wish fulfillment emasculation can be avoided.
That's where touching boobs comes in. It sure is a great way to stop thinking about a crush. I know I enjoy it. On more than one occasion I have gone to a bar and ended up touching a boob at a house. I'm pretty sure that kind of behavior is normal college activity for the boys and girls.
After touching boobs I can only think about crushes in a general and aesthetic sort of way. So activity of the boob kind is kind of like a learning tool too, because it relaxes and opens the synapses to reconsideration of things.
It's a misogynistic writing tool, too. I think it's pretty accurate to say that everyone gets crushes. They range from tiny to Pinkerton but they still can't last. They'll just disappear or you'll get disaffected. I don't know, maybe some old people like to say that they still have a crush on their spouse, but I'm not Pearl Swiggum. I'm betting that those old people don't actually have crushes.
Crushes can't last because they get burned up. A crush will die because if you can't handle it you'll avoid the person, and if you can it will burn up and leave you with fondness and not a crush. So don't sweat the passing.
So even if you have a crush, you have to go out and have a good time away from the crusher. You'll probably end up hooking up with someone anyway, and it's probably best that you let the crush drop. Wish fulfillment is more of a Sonic Youth song than a reality. And the kicker'sometimes you'll have a crush on some boobs and they'll end up in your hands and the person might be cool.
