Some people like to debate in their classes. Other people like to watch news debates on CNN. I personally like to analyze hard-hitting debates from the most informative of sources: the study cubicles at College Library.
Of course, whenever I go to the library to \study"" (read: nap), I always take the time to enlighten myself with the writings on the wall. It's just too entertaining.
This week's topic: Who is better, the East Coasters or the Midwesterners? Or, as I like to call us, the ""Mid Coasters."" The West Coasters are not a part of this debate for reasons unclear'maybe their presence at this school isn't large enough, maybe they never study or maybe they are indeed SO much better than everyone else, they're too good to deface a wooden desk stating just that. Conclusion: All West Coasters are elitist scum.
As for this debate, I'm not entirely sure how it started. Someone wrote something like ""East Coasters suck!"" to which someone replied, ""No, YOU suck!"" and from there it just snowballed. There were a lot of insightful points brought up that I would like to address.
Quote No. 1: from ""Jersey girl,"" ""At least we can dress well and we're not blonde farmer hicks with no fucking style."" Conclusion: Everyone from the Midwest is a blonde farmer.
Quote No. 2: ""Fucking conformists! I can pick you out of a crowd from a mile away! (black pants, North Face, etc.)"" Now this one generated a lot of response. One person said, ""You definatly [sic] wear tapered jeans!"" To which I just say, what? Is that an insult? I mean, yeah, tapered jeans are annoying because you fall over trying to get them on or off, and they may not be ""cool,"" but does it really matter what clothes we wear? Conclusion: Yes, it is the only thing that matters in this world.
Another person wrote in response, ""You're to [sic] poor for North Faces."" Come ON, guys! We're in college here! At least the person wrote ""you're"" instead of ""your."" I've seen idiots write things like, ""You're mom is a whore!"" Conclusion: A large percentage of college students have bad grammar.
Another person contested the conformity point by taking way too many words to simply ask, ""If they're conformists how can you pick them out of a crowd?"" To which another person explains that the point was that the writer could see through their conformity well enough to pick them out. Conclusion: Most college students are elitist scum who think they are smarter than everyone else and feel the need to flaunt their assumed superiority.
And then there was some stuff written in German, which I don't speak. The person who wrote this is probably thinking, ""Haha, I'll get them, I'll write an insult in German and then only a select few will have any idea what it means! Oh, the irony!"" Conclusion: People who speak German are not funny.
I don't think the people involved ever came to an agreement on the pressing debate of East vs. Midwest. But I've received more than enough information to make up my mind: MID-COAST 4EVA!
