There was a large package stuffed into our mailbox and it was addressed to me. I was pretty excited'a big package has to be something good, right?
I grabbed the package, along with the rest of the mail, and went inside. The first clue that something was wrong was the return address. KPMG. Hm'I had never heard of any \KPMG,"" but I opened the package anyway.
Inside was a large gray sweatshirt, a postcard and a packet of papers. The sweatshirt was about three sizes too big for me, and the only decoration on it was the letters KPMG. The packet contained a list of questions that asked me about the other offers I received and asked me what made me choose KPMG. On the postcard was written, ""Michael'Congratulations! We are so excited to have you join us this winter. Good luck with the fall semester!""
Apparently I was supposed to join some sort of organization this winter and it seemed pretty excited about me joining. But just who were my mysterious benefactors?
Accountants. A quick trip to the KPMG Web site revealed that they were a global accounting firm. I have never taken an accounting course. Not even in high school. I have never stood up and shouted out to the world, ""Hey world! I'd like to be an accountant! Yeah, that would be nifty!"" I've never even balanced my checkbook.
So a job offer from an accounting firm was a bit of a surprise. After I opened the mail, I checked my e-mail. I had received an e-mail congratulating me on my acceptance into Beta Alpha Psi.
What's Beta Alpha Psi? It's the professional accounting fraternity. This was starting to get weird. How often do people get mail urging them to be accountants, let alone twice in one day?
Not that there's anything wrong with being an accountant; it's just something I had thought slightly less likely to happen than my long-time dream of becoming the guy who wears the giant rat suit at Chuck E. Cheese.
Obviously, this had to be a case of mistaken identity. I could picture myself showing up to work at KPMG and asking what exactly they did. Or maybe I could try to blend in. I would run around the office all day and if anybody asked me what I was doing, I could shout ""Dividend!"" After about an hour of this, they would call security.
I contacted the Beta Alpha Psi people and told them that they had the wrong guy. For some reason, I can't quite make myself call KPMG. Maybe it's because this is the first time I have ever been offered a ""real job."" It feels nice, even if it really isn't meant for me.
Many students out there, especially you seniors, are a little worried about life after college. With the collapse of the dot-com economy and the realization that at some point you do have to start paying off those student loans, finding your place in the world is a daunting task. I used to be one of you; questioning, uncertain, a little scared. But not anymore. My future is clear. I am an accountant.
