In mid-September my roommates put an American flag up on our front door, and for a few minutes I thought I was going to have to move out. It all happened quickly, but it had to have been the defining moment of the semester.
What's funny is that I can't even remember exactly what happened. I remember seeing my roommate with the flag, and I remember seeing him tape it up, and I remember saying that I couldn't believe I was living with people who'd put a flag on their door, but that's all I remember.
I can't even remember exactly how my roommates reacted, or what I might have said about America or the flag. All I know for sure is that at that moment, I knew there were going to be things this semester not worth arguing about.
It's hard to win when you're outspoken, and usually the costs of putting up a fight are too great to even bother trying. In the case of the flag, I was outnumbered four to one, but I had to speak up, and I can't take back anything I said.
To me, the flag has always been a symbol of ignorant patriotism, and I can't help that. In September, I saw everyone waving a flag and was unnerved. It seemed as though people weren't thinking. It seemed as thought they were letting themselves get brainwashed by George W. Bush and everyone else.
Obviously, my roommates had different ideals about the flag and America and patriotism, and I hadn't even known that before, despite having known them for a couple of years.
To my roommates, I think the flag represented being behind America. It meant they were giving their support, and I don't know if I had much support to give, but in the end I was OK with having the flag up for almost a month.
When the flag finally came down, I know one of my roommates thought it was happening a little prematurely, but he didn't say anything. Sometimes the costs are too great, and then, sometimes you've got to ignore the costs.
A lot of times this semester I think I've been in situations where everyone was afraid to say anything. Nearly everyone knew something was up, but no one said anything, and then things only got worse.
It's like when someone hasn't done their dishes for a week, and suddenly there aren't any pots left for everyone else to use, but no one wants to admit that everyone knows what's up, because no one wants to be responsible for conflict.
If you're the one to make the conflict, you're the first bad guy even though you're just trying to solve a problem. When you speak out against fraternities or bombing Afghanistan, people start to say things behind your back and to your face, because you're becoming a problem, and no one wants those.
People don't look for the real root of the problem. They don't look to why I have trouble accepting the American flag, or why terrorists want to attack this country. Instead, it's just about solving the immediate problem. It's about dropping bombs, or saying, \I'm sorry you feel that way, but we're putting the flag up anyway.""
It's about a lot of other things, too.
