About two years ago, when I lived in Washington, D.C., I went to a party with a couple of friends. It wasn't a big party, and the people throwing it were not strangers'they were the co-workers of one of the women I attended with. Nor were they clubbers or fraternity brothers. They were, in fact, mostly lawyers'recent law-school grads working clerkships in the federal court system.
In short, nothing about the party fit my stereotype about the kind of situation in which I needed to worry about being given a date-rape drug ... but that's what happened anyway.
My friend Alexandra and I accepted mixed drinks from one of her male colleagues and that was the last thing either of us drank. An hour later Alex was stretched out unconscious on the couch and I was lying in a ball on the floor, vomiting violently. I couldn't speak, and I could barely move my arms or legs, but unlike a lot of people who have had this experience, I did retain most of my memories of the event.
I remember wondering whether any of the people around me would notice if I stopped breathing and I remember feeling like that was definitely a distinct possibility. I felt like my central nervous system was shutting down'which, as it turns out, is pretty much exactly what was happening. It was one of the worst experiences of my life and I felt horribly sick for days afterward.
Rohypnol (\Roofies""), gamma hydroxybutric acid (GHB), and ketamine (""Special K""), the three most common of the so-called date-rape drugs, were all originally developed to be used either as anesthetics during surgery or as tranquilizers to treat severe seizure and sleep disorders. The effects vary depending on the drug and the user, but all cause impaired motor control, feelings of intoxication and in some cases, loss of consciousness and disrupted memory. When mixed with alcohol, which is also a nervous-system depressant, these effects are intensified.
Neither Alex or I were sexually assaulted. The other people we came to the party with made sure we got home safely. In my opinion, however, that isn't the end of the story. Women have died from overdoses of drugs like Rohypnol or from unintentionally mixing them with alcohol. In 1999, a 15-year-old girl from Michigan died after drinking a can of Mountain Dew that had been spiked with GHB. Even if a woman in this situation is not raped, the fact remains that an incredibly dangerous substance has been put into her body without her knowledge or consent. That is a danger and a violation all on its own.
Most columns about date-rape drugs end with a list of suggestions targeted at women'""watch your drink at parties,"" ""don't accept drinks from strangers,"" ""go out in groups if you go out at all""'but I'm not going to do that. In light of the situation in Afghanistan, Americans have spent a lot of time congratulating ourselves on how much freedom women in our culture enjoy compared to women in other parts of the world.
But how much freedom do American women really have, how equal can we say we really are, when we're expected to consider the fact that we could end up the victim of rape (or dead of an overdose) every time we pick up a soda or accept a drink from a male friend? Worse, when the messages about stopping rape are usually aimed solely at us?
Somehow, women are always charged with preventing our own victimization and then blamed when we are not successful. Why did I drink something I hadn't mixed myself? Why did I go to a party attended by at least a few men I did not know? Hell, why did I leave my house at all? Because, I'm an adult ... and I have the right to experience the world like one. As far as I'm concerned, there's only one group of people responsible for stopping rape, and that's men. Any suggestions?
