What Brian said was \Miller, you can do anything you want with that column,"" but all I heard was, ""You can do anything you want."" And then, right there at the Plaza, working on pitcher No. 4, it dawned on me that indeed I could do anything.
""Miller, I know you're crazy enough,"" Brian went on. ""You could get Wilford Brimly, or some famous old dude in your column. People love that crap.""
""Just call the right people,"" he said. ""Maybe Willard Scott. Yeah, someone fat'and talk to him. People will love it.""
I was half listening to Brian, half thinking about what I wanted to say to Wilford Brimly, and half thinking about what I wanted to do with my life. I could do anything I wanted, and I had never realized it before.
""Yeah, Brian,"" I said. ""That's a good idea."" And it was.
""I'd love to talk to Wilford Brimly and Willard Scott'and maybe Mr. Rogers too,"" I said. ""I can do it. I'm going to do it."" And that was that.
That was the night before my summer school final exam, and I woke up at 7:30 a.m. the next morning to go running. I wasn't feeling good, but I was set on doing something with my life.
The following day I wanted to take a bus to Minnesota, so I did. And, that night I really wanted some nachos, so I had them, and after that I was pretty well fulfilled.
I sat alone on the couch in my parents' basement and was absolutely happy. I was who I wanted to be right then, and I wasn't worried about who or what I'd become later. I'm still not worried, but I'm entirely unsure.
All my life I've been hearing it, and I've never believed it. Since first grade it's been ""in America you can be a doctor, or an astronaut, or even the President of the United States if you want to. You just have to put your mind to it,"" and even at six years old I had my doubts.
So suddenly I'm 21, and I realize I'm smarter and harder-working than a lot of doctors and even the president, but I have no desire to be either. Sometimes, I don't even have a lot of respect for either, and often I don't know who I respect, or who I'd like to be.
One thing I do know, though, is I don't want to talk to Willard Scott or Wilford Brimly. I don't care about those men, and maybe I'm selling my readers short by not writing about fat old guys, but that's not who I am.
If Willard Scott makes me see that yes, I do want to be President of the United States or something, then I'll write about him, and I'll have him over for dinner, and we'll be friends, but whatever. It's not going to happen.
What's going to happen is I'll probably just keep doing what I've been doing, and I'll be happy. And next year I'm really just going to be doing what I've always been doing, but in a different place and with different means and different ends. And it'll all work out, and I'll be happy.
andrewmiller@students.wisc.edu
