What is up? I'm Matt Worzala and I'm back, once again, as one of your friendly neighborhood Daily Cardinal columnists. And I pledge to spend this year working for YOU, the students, giving you the scoop with my unique brand of hard-hitting journalism.
Except for the month of March. March belongs to Wrestlemania.
For those of you who don't know me, I am from Green Bay, Wis. and am a senior majoring in history and communication arts. This means I thank God every night for creating The History Channel so I might have a place to work in 10 months. On a side note I also thank God for creating Sarah Michelle Gellar, but I don't think she's going to pay me to hang out with her.
Now some of you may be saying, 'Matt, as a returning columnist, do you really have anything NEW to write about'?
I worried about that too. Until I remembered a story my friend A.J. Gentile told me.
'Matt,' says A.J., 'there were these three guys named George, Bob and Fred. They were working up on a scaffolding when George fell off and died. Bob volunteered to tell George's wife the bad news. Well, after two hours Bob came back with a six-pack of beer.
''Where'd you get the six-pack'? Fred asked.
''George's wife gave it to me,' Bob said.
''What'? Fred asked. 'You just told her that her husband died, and she gave you beer'?
''Well,' Bob said, 'when she answered
the door, I asked her 'Are you George's widow'? and she said, 'You're mistaken. I'm not a widow.' So I said, 'I'll bet you a six-pack you are!''
I don't really know what that has to do with the question at hand, I just like how Bob tricks the woman into giving him free beer.
See you Monday.
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