Gov. Walker plans to move ‘Welcome To Wisconsin’ signs one yard south every day until Illinois catches on

In a stunning move that has gained overwhelming bipartisan support, Gov. Scott Walker has confirmed his intent to move the state’s southernmost “Welcome to Wisconsin” signs gradually south until Illinois becomes aware of it. The signs, used by commuters and tourists to mark the border between the two states, will be moved south by one yard every day, under the cover of darkness, so that Wisconsin will appear to start further south than it actually does.
“Think of it like when you were a kid trying to steal your friend’s milk carton,” Walker said as the applause died down. “If you just take it, he’ll probably notice. However, if you inch it over, little by little, he won’t notice the subtle changes. We hope to enact this method with our signs. Our goal is to eventually move them south of Chicago, maybe even south of Illinois altogether!”
State representatives enthusiastically drew up and passed a bill.
“This is really refreshing,” state Rep. Terese Berceau, D-Madison, said. “In a time when we are so divided as a nation, bamboozilin’ Illinois will be something to bind us together. I have high hopes not only for the future of our politics, but for the state of Wisconsin itself.”
Despite the frenzy of excitement, Walker urged discretion, stating that in order to truly succeed in a prank, the prankee must remain unaware.
“I know we all want to talk about this, but it is your civic duty to remain silent until we have succeeded. If Illinois finds out before we get started, it won’t be any fun,” Walker said. However, he flashed a grin and reassured the listeners: “There will be plenty of time to talk about it after the state issues its official ‘GOT EM’.”
The timetables were undetermined at the time of the press conference, but both the governor and representatives assured the media that plans are swinging into motion.
“Rest assured,” declared Walker, “that this is to be perhaps the sickest prank in the history of the great state of Wisconsin.”
At press time, Capitol workers were seen sneaking toward Springfield with rolls of toilet paper in hand.