Do you have a vulva? How big is the clitoris exactly? What’s all the ruckus about “popping cherries?” Between the Sheets is calling bluff and getting clitorate.
Recently, while telling a friend about the correct name for the place almost everyone refers to as the “vagina,” I learned a new way to describe it. “Oh, like where camel toe happens? Right there?” Why yes, yes indeed. Perhaps not the MOST flattering description, but it gets the job done. That place where camel toe can occur is actually called the vulva.
The vulva is in fact not a luxury vehicle, but rather a kick-ass place between the thighs and below the bellybuttons of about half of people in the U.S. Sometimes it’s called “the lips of the vagina,” but the vagina itself is actually only the internal tube that forms a pathway from the vaginal opening to the cervix.
Okay great, so why do we care? Even though most people would understand what we mean if we refer to the vulva as the vagina, using the misnomer reduces this area of the body down to only one of its many wonderful parts. Yes, the vagina is an important component of the larger system, but it shouldn’t be getting all the glory. Also the word “vulva” is dope as hell so why wouldn’t we use it?
If we ventured along the vulva Magic School Bus style, we would soon stumble upon the holy grail of body parts. That’s right folks, I’m talking about THE CLITORIS *heavens open as chorus of cherubs sings sweet praises.* Despite the undisputable gloriousness of this organ most people know very little about it. One nickname for the clitoris is “the bean,” which might lead us to believe it is a tiny pearl, daintily resting itself at the top of the vulva below a delicate hood of pinkish tissue. Oh, how the patriarchy has deceived us all.
If the clitoris were introducing itself during syllabus week, here are some things it might tell you:
The clitoris has many more similarities to a penis than most people would imagine. Despite comparisons to skittles, the size of the clitoris is actually very comparable to the size of a penis because these two organs develop from the exact same embryonic tissue. We’re all made of the same biological playdough, kids.
The shaft of a clitoris fills with blood and becomes erect during arousal—much like the shaft of a penis.
The glans or “bean” portion tends to get all the credit, when in reality there’s so much more there!
Here’s some anatomy:
The glans is visible when looking at a vulva commonly referred to as “the bean.”
The shaft becomes erect during arousal and blood flows to this area.
The legs or crura extend down from the shaft and lay beneath the labia majora on either side of the vulva.
The bulbs look something like testes and rest behind the labia minora.
The clitoris is ultra sensitive, it contains at least 8,000 nerve endings (a penis has about 4,000). This incredible number of nerves makes it the single most sensitive body part on the human body.
Many people with vulvas who claim they “can’t orgasm” simply haven’t had enough fun with their clitoris. In reality, only a very small percentage of women can orgasm from p-in-v intercourse, everybody else needs clitoral stimulation to get their o-face on. Clitoral orgasm can usually be achieved by direct stimulation to the clit or by dual stimulation of the clit and another orifice.
It never ages! Once the clitoris reaches maturity it doesn’t change over a person’s lifetime, so if we haven’t been bffs with our clits in the past it’s never too late to get in touch with our love buds.
The clitoris is the Beyoncé of the body: all it does is provide pleasure. It doesn’t help us pee or make babies or birth babies or clean kitchens, it exists solely for sexual pleasure. This leads one to ask, why is it that this anatomical gold mine gets so little press? Perhaps because society doesn’t think pleasure is important for people who have this organ? Annnnnnnywho...
When mom asks what was learned at school today here’s what to say:
If we mean vagina, say vagina. If we mean vulva, say vulva—using the right wordage celebrates this amazing orifice for all that it is. The clitoris is not a nub of nerves, but rather a fairly large and ridiculously complex organ to locate, stimulate and celebrate, my good people.
There just isn’t enough time in one Tuesday to call attention to all the myths and misconceptions about our banging bodies. Lucky for us the fun doesn’t have to stop! Next week we’re keeping it rolling and dishing about the hymen, “squirting” and other tricky topics. Stay tuned for more...
If you just can’t wait till next Tuesday for more sarcastic critiques of the shit society has taught you about bodies, email Anna at sex@dailycardinal.com with your requests!
