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(11/30/04 6:00am)
There is only one person who will legitimately enjoy the
stagnant, putrid holiday abomination \Christmas with the Kranks,""
and that is Ben Affleck. Affleck recently starred in another
Yuletide atrocity, ""Surviving Christmas,"" a critically panned
flop that has now been proven to be only a slight harbinger of
2004's ultimate lump of coal. Thanks to ""Christmas with the
Kranks,"" which is not only the worst movie of this year but the
worst holiday film ever made, Affleck may find comfort in the fact
that his Xmas turkeys, also including ""Reindeer Games,"" resemble
masterpieces of filmmaking in comparison to this cinematic
cesspool.
(11/23/04 6:00am)
A recent issue of the Onion contained an insightful interview
with \Election"" director Alexander Payne, in which he was asked to
share his opinion on what constitutes a true independent film.
Payne said he would classify an independent film as any in which
""you feel the director, not a machine, at work""-a purposely broad
definition that virtually associates the quality of any film,
mainstream or otherwise, with the creative presence of a talented
director. From this, we can label financial hits such as Sam
Raimi's ""Spider-Man"" films and Alfonso Cuaron's ""Harry Potter
and the Prisoner of Azkaban"" as imaginative studio productions
with independent spirit and generic movies like ""Gone in 60
Seconds"" and ""Armageddon"" as uninspired, machine-processed
flotsam. And since director Brett Ratner is one of the blandest
filmmakers currently working, his new insipid heist/caper comedy
""After the Sunset"" is the very antithesis of original,
independently crafted entertainment.
(11/16/04 6:00am)
A genuine, finely wrought drama centering on a hot-button issue
is an uncommon find, as there are always innumerable cinematic
pitfalls that come hand in hand with controversy. Films that
present their contentious subject material in too subjective a
light will not alter opinions; they will only serve to strengthen
the issue's duality (\Fahrenheit 9/11,"" for all its success and
bravado, did not sway an election-it mainly reinforced the
liberals' hatred of Bush and the conservatives' hatred of liberals
like Michael Moore). Films at least containing a subplot about
abortion either tend to gloss over it and unintentionally
trivialize it (""Fast Times at Ridgemont High"") or overly satirize
it with broad humor that is high on caricature and low on insight
(Alexander Payne's overrated ""Citizen Ruth""). However, British
veteran Mike Leigh's latest film, ""Vera Drake,"" avoids the usual
genre hazards and emerges as a restrained, yet powerful, and
objective thought-provoker that is also one of the best films of
the year.
(11/15/04 6:00am)
There are a myriad of performers who have garnered a substantial
following thanks to random but memorable supporting performances,
but very few who are routinely stylized enough prompt the invention
of new words to describe their uniqueness. In the overwhelming
majority of the films he appears in, Christopher Walken doesn't
necessarily act; he \Walkenizes"" his way through his lines, giving
them a nearly indescribable sense of eccentricity that has become
his specialty. Whether he's proclaiming himself to be the
anti-Christ in ""True Romance"" or emoting about the quality of
Marie Callenders' pastries in ""Gigli,"" his Walkenizing creates a
mesmerizing vibe of weirdness that is splendidly off-kilter.
Occasionally though, Walken settles down and reminds us that he is
one of the most talented actors of his generation.
(11/03/04 6:00am)
It is irrefutable that a high-concept film lives and dies by its
premise, no matter how proficiently executed or capably handled.
Most films that are so tenuously structured upon a risky idea
actually contain a theoretically sound concept. When they fail,
they managed to botch another aspect of the film. For example, it
wasn't the concept of Jim Carrey playing God that sealed \Bruce
Almighty's"" fate, but rather the revoltingly sappy script, which
was so awful you would think it was originally intended for Pauly
Shore or Carrot Top, coupled with the sloppy direction of Tom
Shadyac. However, Jonathan Glazer's ambitious ""Birth"" is a
superbly mounted, admirable production that would have succeeded
without question-if not for its ultimately fallible premise.
(11/01/04 6:00am)
The only discernible purpose that the new comedy \The Last
Shot"" serves is to emphasize how important stringently rewriting a
script, like ""The Last Shot's,"" would have been. This is a
virtually laughless, shamefully inane excuse for a farce, and its
pointless existence is a testament to all that is wrong with
Hollywood. How scribe-turned-auteur Jeff Nathanson was able to
convince executives to greenlight this hackneyed drivel is
questionable, but how he managed to assemble such a remarkable cast
is utterly bewildering. Unwelcome and unfunny, ""The Last Shot"" is
a haphazardly written, shoddily directed, shrilly acted debacle
that emerges as the worst Hollywood-on-Hollywood satire since the
Alan Smithee film ""Burn Hollywood Burn.""
(10/27/04 6:00am)
There is a specific group of Hollywood actors who only appear in
supporting roles, and whether the film is successful, their
dependably idiosyncratic performances are memorable. Some have made
the leap to leading roles (Kevin Spacey moved from remarkable
supporting work in \Usual Suspects"" and ""Se7en"" to the
gargantuan triumph that is ""American Beauty""), while others have
continued to flourish within their supporting but pivotal character
niche (Steve Buscemi). In ""Criminal,"" a modest but thoroughly
engrossing con man flick, ubiquitous character actor John C. Reilly
is finally given the chance to carry a movie-a task he fulfills
with exquisite finesse.
(10/21/04 6:00am)
An involving, worthwhile film about high-class snobbery is as
evasive as an objective Michael Moore speech. It is a subject that
is inherently tedious, and even though there has never been a
thoroughly captivating movie made about it (and Robert Altman's
grotesquely over-praised \Gosford Park"" does not count), a handful
of these dreary flicks are churned out each year. The irrelevant,
unwanted comedy of manners of 2004 happens to be actor Stephan
Fry's directorial debut ""Bright Young Things,"" an energetic but
unquestionably dull adaptation of Evelyn Waugh's novel of the same
name.
(10/15/04 6:00am)
With his new film \Code 46,"" maverick director Michael
Winterbottom proves that he not only shuns the idea of working in
the same genre twice; he flat-out refuses to take his audience to
the same place again.
(10/13/04 6:00am)
Political satire is one of the trickiest ventures a filmmaker
can dabble in; it is inherently challenging to integrate insightful
commentary into an entertaining piece of cinema. Efforts range from
sublime (Barry Levinson's \Wag the Dog"") to silly (Warren Beatty's
""Bulworth""), as the attempt to put a unique spin on political
events can either result in a seminal film or a laughably misguided
sermon. In a year rife with politic films of all shapes and sizes,
it is John Sayles' toothless, shamefully mediocre ""Silver City""
that makes the slightest impression.
(10/07/04 6:00am)
The documentary has undergone a renaissance of sorts during the
past couple of years; from the incendiary \Bowling for Columbine""
to the contemplative ""Fog of War."" We have already seen two
documentaries capture substantial attention beyond the art
house-Morgan Spurlock's amusing indictment of McDonald's, ""Super
Size Me,"" and of course, Michael Moore's infamous ""Fahrenheit
9/11."" However, the best documentary of the year in terms of lucid
narrative and solid structure is also the most unassuming: George
Butler's outstanding ""Going Upriver: The Long War of John
Kerry.""
(09/29/04 6:00am)
There have been an alarming number of films recently that have
existed as life-support machines for their twist endings (M. Night
Shyamalan, I'm talking to you). This is a risky maneuver, because
audiences are increasingly fickle and adept at sniffing out the
conclusion. If the twist is easy to guess, logically incompetent,
stupid, etc. (insert flaw here), the entire film that has been
relying on it will collapse beneath its own weight. The latest
addition to the twisty psychological thriller genre, \The
Forgotten,"" contains a twist that is undoubtedly audacious but
also amazingly, exceptionally idiotic. As a result, any goodwill or
curiosity that had been sustained comes crashing down.
(09/27/04 6:00am)
One of the most annoying aspects of cinema is when a
consistently wonderful actor is stuck in a film that isn't worthy
of his talents. It is downright infuriating when that actor
delivers a spectacular performance that, despite its brilliance, is
ultimately unable to save the film.
(09/15/04 6:00am)
The atrocious marketing campaign for the new Kim Basinger
thriller \Cellular"" will be its kiss of death, as it leaves the
impression that this attention-diverting little B-movie is an
over-cooked rip-off of last year's ""Phone Booth."" In fact, the
trailer looks more like a ""Saturday Night Live"" spoof than a
legitimate preview of a coming attraction---a collection of
standard thriller scenes lazily and thoughtlessly cobbled together.
This is a shame, because ""Cellular"" is a modest, somewhat
engaging time-killer that respects its audience and supplies enough
humor and thrills to keep the proceedings somewhat enjoyable. For a
movie essentially about talking on the telephone, it's not as bad
as you'd think.
(05/03/04 6:00am)
British theater veteran Nick Hamm makes a dire mainstream debut
with \Godsend,"" an embarrassment for all involved.?? This film
squanders its rich, timely premise with a fiercely mediocre script
equipped with heavy-handed, lame dialogue, strictly average
performances from an A-list cast, derivative plot twists and turns
and a gutless ending that reeks of extensive reshoots. It does not
work as a compelling, thought-provoking drama about cloning because
of its murky horror, and it fails as a spooky thriller reminiscent
of ""The Omen"" or ""The Shining"" (or, more contemporarily, ""The
Sixth Sense"" and ""The Ring"") because it timidly apes
them.
(04/19/04 6:00am)
Jonathan Hensleigh's \The Punisher"" is a colossal
embarrassment. Every scene, every explosion and every atrocious
line of dialogue in ""The Punisher"" feels mechanical and
artificial. It is a grand failure on every elemental level of
filmmaking, and it wouldn't be surprising if the 1990 Dolph
Lundgren direct-to-video ""Punisher"" is better.??
(04/15/04 6:00am)
A frequent and exasperating practice of Hollywood studios today
is their penchant for making movies that must be PG-13. This is a
greedy attempt to maximize profits by appealing to the largest
audience possible. Nothing makes a rich studio CEO happier than the
release of a good-ol' PG-13 flick that Mom and Pops can bring the
whole minivan full of kids to.
(04/09/04 6:00am)
Mainstream mountain climbing films are typically big-budget
action fiascos that contain as much real-life authenticity as a
James Bond movie. \Cliffhanger,"" the 1993 Sylvester Stallone
offering, offers a multitude of high-tech action thrills and
excitement but very little realistic depiction of its subject. The
2000 extravaganza ""Vertical Limit"" is even more laughable, what
with its far-fetched plot and ludicrous action sequences-especially
one cliff leap that exhibits Chris O'Donnell's superhuman strength.
However, Kevin McDonald's independent docudrama ""Touching the
Void"" manages to maintain an unremitting atmosphere of suspense
while staying admirably accurate in its climbing sequences. As a
result, this is the best film ever made about the subject.
(04/01/04 6:00am)
This weekend, the biggest Australian sensation since the
Crocodile Hunter is coming to Madison. From April 2 to 4, the
Barrymore Theatre will be packed with people eager to see the
internationally acclaimed show \The Puppetry of the Penis: The
Ancient Australian Art of Genital Origami,"" the wildly successful
off-Broadway hit that has recently come to the United
States.
(04/01/04 6:00am)
This weekend, the biggest Australian sensation since the
Crocodile Hunter is coming to Madison. From April 2 to 4, the
Barrymore Theatre will be packed with people eager to see the
internationally acclaimed show \The Puppetry of the Penis: The
Ancient Australian Art of Genital Origami,"" the wildly successful
off-Broadway hit that has recently come to the United
States.