Amazon has decided to step up their game in predicting the interests of their customers. Already known for using past searches and accessing its customers’ internet history to target ads, Amazon now believes that, with their newest algorithm, they can predict people’s tastes enough to actually begin purchasing items for them.
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The death of Vine meant the death of life as we know it.
Spielberg the Great needs your praise to survive. It makes him stronger.
A proposed logo for Amazon’s latest surveillance technolo- oops, we mean, Amazon’s latest convenience service.
“Vines that keep me from ending it all,” “Vines that cured my depression” and “Vines that really butter my crispy flake:” the threads of six-second videos of pure glee and bliss can be found on nearly every form of social media. When it was announced on Jan. 17, 2017, that the iconic video application was going to be laid to rest, hearts were broken worldwide. While millions of people were now able to escape the vomit-inducing ignorance of individuals such as Logan Paul, Nash Grier and Jacob Sartorius with much more ease, the detrimental effects of the death of Vine left no part of our earth untouched.
For those of you who are not familiar with Short Stack Eatery (sucks for you), you may not be aware of how convoluted their hours are. The popular breakfast spot is closed Mondays and Tuesdays. Wednesdays, your window of opportunity briefly opens from 6 a.m. to 3 p.m. On Thursdays and Fridays, you can treat yourself from 6 a.m. until midnight. Finally, SSE serves delicious dishes from 6 a.m. on Saturday to 9 p.m. on Sunday (yes, the whole time). As confusing as this is, one student saw opportunity amid the chaos.
One of the most noteworthy developments of the last week is the smelliest kid on your floor has finally succumbed to his own stench and decided to take a shower for the first time this semester.
The new UW dining plan is engineered to exclude several students.
The UW Housing directorate announced early last week that the options available to students have expanded with the addition of the “Opulence” plan to the UW dining halls. The plan, long lobbied by students and parents, includes caviar and foie gras, along with fresh-baked baguettes unavailable to students participating in the typical meal plans.
This past weekend, Kylie Jenner, another indistinguishable member of the Kardashian Kult, announced her intent to devote all of her spare time to the care of her newborn child. The decision to abstain from excessing posting exemplified unprecedented consideration and maturity, especially from someone whose worth has repeatedly been determined by how her butt looks in any given mirror selfie.
Reports that Mother Earth has been planning to oust the human race have been appearing more and more frequently in The Daily Cardinal office. Upon hearing these outlandish claims, Cardinal correspondents were sent to the International Space Station to request a comment from our home planet.
As a decorated war hero was set to return to his home country after many ongoing years of relentlessly brutal combat, only to realize that his return home would not be as simple as he had expected.
In light of the recent developments surrounding Twitter and the global events shifted and shaped around the dialogue through its medium, Twitter founder Jack Dorsey has taken to his own medium to justify his application’s relevance in today’s global ecosystem.
As Disney comes under criticism for the messages it creates in its older films, such as patriarchal gender roles and racist undertones, yet another fallacy has been uncovered. In Walt Disney’s The Little Mermaid there is a little-known scene in which a crab named Sebastian leads other sea creatures in a song titled “Under the Sea.” It makes for a cute movie moment but, as leading researcher Eugena Tatwell suggests, it is a wholly unrealistic premise.
The government shutdown this weekend had several factions tinkering with ways to potentially remedy the government’s plights. This week’s shutdown marked the first government shutdown in the modern era where both houses of the legislature and the White House are controlled by the same party. Opponents of the shutdown pointed toward a coffee-stained governmental manual lying neglected on the dirty floor as the guide by which the government was ground to a halt. The resulting outcome was a recovered government, but imagination runs wild as to the potential outcomes which could have resulted if the government were left untended, like a leaky faucet.
In breaking news from Hollywood, all of their male movie stars have recently been arrested and sent to jail as a result of a plethora of crimes being committed en masse. As a result of this, every Hollywood studio has released statements to the press, begging for male stars to fill movie roles.
1. Get in the Christmas spirit by listening to same 18 songs every store will be playing for the next month.
As air travel ramps up during the final months of 2017, the Transportation Security Administration are instituting a new policy requiring pregnant mothers to remove their fetuses and place them in separate bins at the security checkpoint.
Since spending the holiday of togetherness by driving for hours to be in a food coma the entire weekend with your uncle yelling obscenities over a football game is the best way, Thanksgiving is always a blowout.