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(03/11/17 5:02am)
Once the third period started, the Badgers were finally able to get their legs going. From the start of the final frame, the Badgers were pushing the puck up ice, creating shots on goal and crashing the net for rebounds. Still, the effort and attack during that period proved too little too late, as the lethargic No.16 Badgers (12-7-0-0 Big Ten, 19-13-1-0 overall) ultimately lost decidedly 5-1 against No. 15 Ohio State (10-8-1-1, 19-10-6-0).
(03/10/17 6:07am)
Husband-and-wife duo Tennis performs their encore jam, “Bad Girls,” for a packed crowd at High Noon Saloon Wednesday.
(03/10/17 12:00pm)
Wednesday night, I think I may have stepped into a 1980s high school dance scene in a John Hughes movie. Tennis was the featured band, playing tunes that matched the retro vibes of their clothing and vocalist Alaina Moore’s voluminous curls.
(03/09/17 12:00pm)
What would you get if you mix the vocal range of James Brown, the energy of André 3000, and the emotional deep south blues of B.B. King? Look no further than Earl St. Clair’s debut EP, “My Name is Earl.” Despite being one of Def Jam’s newest artists on the rise, Earl St. Clair seems to have already perfected his craft, creating music that can compete with the best in the industry. After dropping out of college, Earl began his career as a producer and singer/songwriter, eventually finding himself working with some of hip hop’s biggest names, such as Rick Ross and Machine Gun Kelly. It wasn’t long, though, before Earl’s talents were noticed by Def Jam and he ended up signing a record deal with a label in 2016. Despite this background in hip hop, Earl’s music has its roots in blues, soul and funk. Most of the tracks on the EP sound like they could have been pulled straight from the 70s, yet Earl manages to add a modern twist that keeps them fresh and relatable to a new generation of listeners.
(03/07/17 8:17pm)
For the Wisconsin wrestling team, the 2017 schedule has been a full course meal.
(03/07/17 4:29am)
This week is the first ever Women of Color week at UW-Madison, with events organized by the Wisconsin Union Directorate that aim to educate the community and celebrate diverse experiences of women.
(03/06/17 12:00pm)
Despite a hiatus from touring, Tennis is keeping the ball volleyed on the match that is their career. The indie pop duo, comprised of husband and wife Patrick Riley and Alaina Moore, have set out on tour again to promote their first album since 2014, Yours Conditionally, which drops March 10. Before they sail into Madison and play at High Noon Saloon on Wednesday, Moore, the songwriter and vocalist, chatted with me about her feelings regarding performing across the nation, her subtle feminist messages in their songs and how she hopes the audience “gets whatever they need” from going to one of their shows.
(03/06/17 12:00pm)
For the first time since I started Sex With Syd, I am writing on a topic that was requested by peers. As if my control of this section of the Cardinal (paired with my job at Sex Out Loud) automatically linked me to being some sort of life expert, my cell phone and inbox have suddenly become flooded with all sorts of questions regarding sex and relationships (I’m not complaining, this is the best outcome that I never expected to happen). For this piece, I am drawing inspiration from a person who wrote, “I don’t know how you stay friends with the guys you have been with. I have such a hard time separating emotions, sex and friendship.” While that text led to a spiral of introspective reflection on my end, instead of writing an article on how I choose to navigate my own (slightly messy? unique? creative? different?) love life, I decided to investigate further into this topic of sex and friendship. The good ol’ classic Friends With Benefits relationship… This relationship typically involves two individuals using each other for sexual relations but not having to deal with all of the other “emotional” aspects that sexual relationships tend to bring about. While there are millions of “FWB Survival Guides” online, I decided to explore on my own and get to the root of this idea. Do successful FWB relationships actually exist? How do they end? Are there really not feelings involved? More importantly: Can we be friends once the benefits end?In order to start this, I sent out texts to a handful of people with the following questions: Is FWB a real thing? Have you ever been in a FWB situation? Did you develop feelings? Did they? How/why did it end? Are you still friends?While the answers varied, there were some salient themes that warranted further investigating and questioning. This led me to ask more questions of those original people and I then began asking these questions to friends who I randomly encountered. Every single person agreed that there is no static definition of what a perfect FWB situation looks like, and almost everyone either said they are no longer friends with that person or, if they remain “friendly,” there is a lot of underlying tension and awkwardness. While some have managed to remain friends with that partner, they said it took a little bit of time to get back to normal. A couple individuals even circled back to this idea that FWB is not possible, that you cannot separate emotions from sex because, “Someone always catches feelings. Always.”Is this true?As evolved of a species as humans are, is it true that we cannot have sexual relationships without developing attachments to the other person? Certain relationships that deviate from the hegemonic definition of what a normal relationship “looks” like often involve a lot of communication and boundaries before the relationship even begins (think polyamory, open/non-monogamous, BDSM relationships, etc.). Should we group FWB with these types of relationships that need to prioritize strategy and rules versus spontaneity? In the movie “Friends With Benefits,” Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake have a conversation setting the ground rules of their situation before they even have sex for the first time. While their characters end up falling in love and, presumably, live happily ever after, just before getting into bed with Timberlake’s character for the first time, Kunis’ character clarifies, “No emotions. Just sex.” Is that warranted?Does sex always mean more?In a response to my unofficial survey, someone wrote, “I’ve had experiences where I’ve hooked up with guys for long periods of time but it was never clear what the title was... I would probably have called it ‘friends with benefits’ but then after the benefits ended it was just like ‘see ya never friend,’ and we never really talked because there wasn’t a friendship foundation there in the first place. I have had zero motivation to be friends with a guy after just hooking up for a while if hooking up was the basis of our relationship.” She then clarified, “Also I’ve never had a FWB situation where we literally sat down and were like, ‘Let’s be friends that fuck!’”Someone else wrote, “Yes FWB is real but also no it’s not. As someone who genuinely enjoys sex for the sake of sex, some aspect of the satisfaction comes from the emotional bond with the person you’re having it with. If you’re OK with the fact that that’s friendship, then why not?”What is particularly interesting to me is that the responses to my initial question about feelings ended up being split 50/50. While many responded that either they themselves developed feelings or the other person involved did, the other half stated that feelings were not the reason for the ending. A lot of times the reason for the end was because the other person got back together with an ex or found someone new.As a human with emotions, I am having a hard time believing there were no feelings hurt at all with that sort of ending. In a Huffington Post article titled “17 Rules For Friends With Benefits,” the author explains this as the difference between a “situationship” and FWB. Carlen Costa writes, “At times the FWB can be confused with a situationship. A situationship is highly based on sexual compatibility and long-term convenience. They are the sexual relationships that straddle the FWB and relationship line; that foggy state of relationship status when there isn’t a label on ‘what this is’ or your situation together, as you navigate what the next steps are … Unhealthy situationships are the bane of my existence. Why? Because they’re complicated and someone always gets emotionally hurt.”So through all of this, I am gathering that we have created arbitrary titles for certain types of relationships that are completely dependent on situations and the people involved. There is no such thing as the stereotypical FWB relationship because it is completely context dependent. While some friends have sex a couple times and move on, some continue to have sex and avoid talking or some may pre-discuss entering into this type of casual relationship. Other people enter into what was deemed as a “situationship” and hookup for a while without talking about it due to fear of seeming like feelings were getting involved.What is clearly evident here is that we, young people, have a fear of labeling the relationships that we are in. In one FWB situation, a friend stated, “… people started calling me ‘his girl’ and it sort of made me off limits and made me realize it was maybe something more. Which made me realize I had more feelings for him. But as soon as I realized that it made me all self conscious about myself and what he was up to.” This self-conscious feeling that comes out of wanting to define the relationship is one that I know almost every single person has felt before. When you have been talking to and/or sexually involved with a person for a long time it is normal to want to ask, “So what is this?” or, “Where is this going?” However, because of this anxiety we carry thinking that the other person may be on a different page or not meet us halfway we often shy away from doing that. This causes us to stay in unhealthy FWB or situationships or whatever you want to label it far too long or until we end up feeling hurt.Regardless of whether we are in a relationship, situationship, FWB, etc., my main question remains: Can we really be “just friends” once sex has been involved? Glamour Magazine has a bunch of rules online for how to “successfully navigate” a FWB relationship and these rules can be seen as extremely limiting and harmful. They warn you not to bring your FWB around your friends, to not convince yourself the relationship is more than it is, to not sleepover, etc. What I don’t like is this mass media rule guide on how to live our lives. If you are comfortable with casually sleeping with someone and bringing them around your friends, so what? If you end up catching feelings for the person you are sleeping with, is that a crime? I don’t think it is a reality to enter into any sort of relationship strictly contractually without mending rules that are comfortable to both partners.What I am learning is that, just like we cannot define if FWB is a realistic concept, we cannot generalize this question and answer it for every situation. I personally think it is completely possible to stay friends with people you have been sexually involved with as long as there is honesty and a friendship worth holding on to. Sure, you may sometimes feel that twinge of jealousy from seeing someone you have been involved with talk to or about someone else, however, if that relationship was important enough for me to have “more” with, I would have prioritized my emotions and healed before I welcomed being around that person again. Sometimes through sexual encounters you are opened up to new people that you really vibe with on a platonic level, and saving those friendships becomes more important to you than any sort of physicality. For some people, sex and friendship are completely separated and there is no possibility of remaining friends once these relationships end and that is completely OK. The best type of relationship (whether sexual, platonic, romantic, etc.) is one where every party is on the same page and completely comfortable with where they stand. If you are trying to be the person who “remains cool” once the relationship ends but you are secretly hurting inside, prioritize yourself and emotions. If the other person judges that or makes you feel bad then that is not the type of “friend” worth keeping around anyway. If you genuinely feel happy and that the other person has your best interest at heart, do not worry if third party individuals think it’s weird that you remain friends.In short, do not listen to what movies and books tell you about how you are supposed to live your romantic life; do whatever makes you completely and totally happy.Do you have any Friends With Benefits stories that you would like to share with Sydney? Have any thoughts or comments? Even any ideas for future sex columns? Maybe you want sex/relationship advice or need to know where to find free condoms on campus? You can always shoot Sydney an email at sex@dailycardinal.com.
(03/02/17 2:00pm)
The most common argument I hear when discussing immigration is that if immigrants—specifically Mexican immigrants—want to come to the U.S. so badly, why don’t they do it legally?
(02/27/17 6:03am)
Surprise! In a shocking victory elevated by the biggest gaffe in Oscars history, “Moonlight,” an intimate film about a black man coming to terms with his identity and sexuality, bested the heavily favored Hollywood musical “La La Land.” The win is a triumph for indie films and diverse representation on screen. But beyond crowning “Moonlight” for the significance of its awards show victory, we should recognize that the film’s importance goes beyond anything the Oscars could give it.
(02/27/17 1:00pm)
A White woman I’d never seen accused meOf stealing her son’s walletWhile it was in his hand.I laughed it off with the simple confidenceOf having habitually survived trauma.But that night I had a dreamThat my lightest-skinned cousin,the one who used to deny he is Mexican,Was stabbing me in my gut with a knife.I bled white blood like guilt.My body was a colorless flagToo thin to do anything but surrender. The man I am in love with is White.He once asked me if I was “into”White men. I told him thatSince coming to Middle America,I don’t consider desire when I look at White people.Instead, I worry in which ways I won’t be treated as human.He was surprised I should worryabout such a thing.We share dreams - not anxieties -Laughed and moved on.When I met my boyfriend’s family,I was the only non-White person at the table.That night I dreamt of tattooing my father’s face onto my own.I wanted to wear his dark skin, his bad teeth,his lack of education, his tiny paychecks, his braveryLike rosary beads made of black opal around my neck.I laughed with the women at the table as they talkedAbout ski trips while I pictured my father trekking acrossA desert into America. He had been my age.Yesterday, I told an advisor that I want to teach.She told me to consider that women of colorAt primarily white institutions either drop outOr develop PTSD.She is afraid that my education will kill me.I told her that every diploma is a bouquetOf flowers I can finally afford for my mother.I hand them to her through a memory,On that day we hid and cried inside our carBecause a White woman had accused her of theftBefore we had learned how laughter is crucial for survival.
(02/27/17 12:00pm)
Within two weeks of his self-titled fifth studio album, FUTURE, the Atlanta rapper returns with HNDRXX, his sixth studio album with a lot of emotions to spill. To release two full-length albums merely weeks apart gives us a spilt metaphor of trap and R&B and the separation between the mind and body. Future becomes brutally honest throughout the codeine and confessions of the women, drugs, money and success. FUTURE gives us some highlight hits like “Rent Money,” “Draco,” “Mask Off,” “High Demand” and “Feds Did a Sweep,” but fails to live up to the hype.
(02/23/17 9:40pm)
When someone tells you they are in a long-distance relationship with someone who lives 1,000 miles away, it usually warrants one of the following responses: “Why in your right mind would you do that?” or “That’s adorable, you must really love each other!”
(02/23/17 2:33pm)
Born in Oct. 8, 1999 in Madison, Wisconsin’s women’s hockey program has yet to reach its 18th birthday, and the program itself is still younger than all of its players.
(02/20/17 11:46pm)
Incumbent candidate Ed Hughes, who has served on seat seven of Madison School Board for nine years, says his experience would allow him to effectively lead efforts to secure adequate resources for schools and to address the district’s achievement gap in a fourth term, if reelected.
(02/20/17 12:00pm)
A study published in the BMJ surveyed 51 heterosexual men between the ages of 18-69, showing each of them photos of different women and then gave them a questionnaire. The men were asked to rate the attractiveness of each woman, how likely they were to want to sleep with that woman and how likely they were to use a condom. The results found that a woman’s attractiveness directly correlated to condom usage during intercourse. Simply, the “hotter” each man found the woman, the more willing they were to not use a condom during intercourse. They then also found that the men among the group who rated themselves as “hot” thought they were more entitled to unprotected sex than the others, and they assumed other attractive men also went condom-free during intercourse. Among the questions on the survey was asking each man the likelihood each woman had an STI, and the results found that the more attractive the woman, the less likely the man was to assume she had an STI.
(02/20/17 4:14pm)
It’s mid-February, and it’s 60 degrees. With the past few months confining studying students to tiny dorm rooms and lifeless College Library, here are some outdoor spaces we are quick to forget about in the winter months. Midterms may be upon us, but so is the springtime sun. Get outside and get studying, Badgers.
(02/19/17 3:38am)
In the annual “Think Pink” game, Wisconsin took the court covered in pink from headbands to shoelaces. With the new gear, the Badgers (2-12 Big Ten, 7-20 overall) secured their second conference win with a 53-41 victory over the Rutgers Scarlet Knights (3-11, 6-21).
(02/16/17 11:31pm)
Throughout this 2016-17 campaign, the Badgers have often been plagued by defensive zone mishaps that have turned into uncontested goals for their opponents. Although Wisconsin has played much better in their defensive zone as of late, they have still had some stretches where their defensive zone coverage has been susceptible to breakdowns.
(02/13/17 12:00pm)
The stern underage drinking posters that adorn residence halls and classrooms bear a familiar message for students: Underage drinking is bad for your health, it’s bad for your grades and it’s illegal. While these platitudes may be true, experts at the UW-Madison Law School say such campaigns don’t really work.
