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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Saturday, May 25, 2024

Zodiac inspired Halloween costumes: Almanac Edition

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

Aquarius (January 20-February 18)

If you’re an Aquarius, your easy-going nature and humanitarian vision screams for you to dress

up in all tie dye and wear no shoes. Just make sure you don’t cut your feet on the ridiculous

amount of glass on Madison sidewalks.

Pisces (February 19-March 20)

If you’re a Pisces, you are the most emotional and empathetic of the signs. You’re also a

hopeless romantic so get yourself a pair of wings and a bow and arrow and go as cupid!

Aries (March 21- April 19)

If you’re an Aries, you are the most fiery and dangerous of the signs. You’re also a major asshole

sometimes so go as a devil.

Taurus (April 20- May 20)

Since you’re a Taurus you’re probably really outdoorsy and annoyingly stubborn making you a

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perfect fairy.

Gemini (May 21- June 20)

As a Gemini you’re already probably a two-faced snake, making Medusa the IDEAL costume for

your personality.

Cancer (June 21- July 22)

Cancer, you should definitely go as a baby it shouldn’t be too hard since all you do is cry. Maybe

bring a pacifier just in case.

Leo (July 23- August 22)

Since you make everything about you anyway, you could definitely pull off a great princess

costume. Bonus points if you can get your friends to go as peasants.

Virgo (August 23- September 22)

You’re already super organized and judgmental making a perfect costume for you one of 2020’s

favorite characters: a Karen. Get yourself an annoyingly expensive haircut and harass your

friends all night for drinking too much because you deserve it.

Libra (September 23- October 22)

If you’re a Libra, you’re very fair AND an intellectual, meaning you can only really go as one

Thing — a supreme court judge — so get out your robe and collar and prepare to make a lot of people

angry. If all goes well, you’ll be exercising your rights under Roe v. Wade the morning after ;)

Scorpio (October 23- November 21)

If you’re a Scorpio, you’re super intense, and according to my roommate, a sex god, so naturally

you’d make a great playboy bunny. Get your slut on queen.

Sagittarius (November 22- December 21)

You should definitely go for a rave look, you probably already party a ton so you shouldn’t have

to shop a lot for it.

Capricorn (December 22- January 19)

If you’re a Capricorn, you’re usually super money-oriented and controlling, making you the

perfect Melania Trump — get that bag sis!

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