As promised, Between the Sheets is back and ready to throw down part two of the talking bodies myth-busting extravaganza! Let’s get to it...
Myth 1: Popping your cherry
We’ve all heard about it, but what does that even mean? This misleading phrase refers to the hymen, which is a membrane of tissue that surrounds or partially covers the vaginal opening to varying degrees. Contrary to popular belief, the hymen almost never covers the entire opening. In fact, it’s extremely rare for it to cover the entire vaginal opening and if this is the case it usually needs to be medically widened so things like menstruation can happen.
Historically, it was believed that if a person’s hymen was “broken,” they were surely a harlot who had been blasphemously penetrated by a penis. Not surprisingly, history was whistling Dixie on this one.
To clear things up, the hymen doesn’t actually “break,” but oftentimes it can tear a bit during normal activities like riding a bike or inserting a tampon, which might result in quite a bit of blood or none at all.
It stretches and adjusts throughout a person’s entire lifetime, meaning it’s not something that disappears after one instance of penile-vaginal intercourse.
Virginity means different things to different people, but a “broken” or torn hymen is NOT a definitive indicator of whether or not a person has had p-in-v or any other type of intercourse.
The idea of the hymen as a physical marker of virginity is by no means a historical relic. Dictionary.com will have you know that a hymen is “a fold of mucous membrane partly closing the external orifice of the vagina in a virgin” (my emphasis). Dictionary.com, you have no chill.
If there haven’t been any objects or body parts entering the vaginal opening for quite some time the hymen can regrow a bit and cover more surface area than in the past. When people talk about being “tight” after a period of less activity or no activity, they are most likely noticing a bit of regrowth of the hymen since the vaginal opening itself doesn’t shrink.
Lots of lube is usually a good idea, but it’s even more important for people with hymens that cover a lot of their vaginal opening. As my friends and I at Sex Out Loud like to say, the wetter the sex the better the sex! (Shameless plug: tons of free lube, condoms and other safer sex supplies are available at Sex Out Loud’s office located at 333 East Campus Mall.)
For those of us who are visual learners, YouTuber Laci Green has a fantastic video called “You can’t POP your cherry! (HYMEN 101)” which excellently lays out what I’ve just covered. She is also a superb individual in general and 10/10 dentists recommend her videos.
Myth 2: Fishy Vaginas
Misconceptions about bodies might be fishy, but our bodies themselves shouldn’t be. That was my best attempt at transitioning into talking about “fishy vaginas.”
As we’re all (hopefully) aware of, bodies require some upkeep. When our armpits get sweaty, we shower. When our teeth feel scummy, we brush them. We don’t need to run out and load up on special soap and loofahs; trying to get a vagina to smell like a flower shop can easily upset the balance and lead to infections.
If we want our tantalizing tidbits to smell naturally tremendous, good ol’ unscented soap and water is our best buddy. Water alone will also do the trick.
Healthy vaginas don’t smell like a freshly cracked can of Chicken of the Sea—they just don’t. If something smells truly fishy in our nether regions, it could be our body’s way of telling us we have bacterial vaginosis, which happens when the healthy bacteria in our snippas get out of whack—I suggest hitting up UHS in this case.
We don’t need fancy chemicals to “clean” our bodies because our bodies are smart and they’ve already got this covered! Vaginas are self-cleaning, which means they start at the “top” or cervix and push whatever is unneeded out of the vaginal opening; this is called discharge. Discharge usually shows up as clear or whitish and we should be happy it’s there because it means our bodies are doing their jobs, thanks bodies!
Myth 3: It’s not pee!
For some reason, the porn industry provides us with cum-shots galore and seems to celebrate the spewing of sticky-stuff from people with penises, but female ejaculation is still taboo. Since we can’t let doodz have all the fun, let’s just burst this bubble right now: all people with vulvas can ejaculate. High school and other adolescent breeding grounds might have us convinced that only certain girls or women are “squirters,” but this is cockamamy.
During orgasm or moments of high arousal, female bodied people secrete fluid from a collection of glands and ducts called skene’s glands, paraurethral glands or the female prostate. The tiny openings for these glands/ducts are located in tissue surrounding the urethral opening, but don’t be fooled by trolls on the internet proclaiming, “IT’S PEE.” Yes, there is urea in vaginal ejaculate, however, there is also urea in our tears and people don’t go around accusing each other of peeing out their eyeballs.
If it’s not pee...what is it? There have been many studies done lately trying to break down what female ejaculate is composed of and the best answer as of now is that the fluid is similar to what’s secreted by the prostate in male bodied people (hence the name “female prostate”). It’s not pee y’all.
While it is NOT the case that only certain people with vulvas ejaculate during orgasm, it IS the case that only some people produce a noticeable amount. The amount of fluid produced ranges from a drop or two to oodles of wetness. Because there is such variation some people may not be able to distinguish ejaculate from other vaginal secretions produced during sex (especially if lube has been involved—which I am indeed advocating for). The point is, there is a wide range of how much cum people produce regardless of gender and it’s all normal and healthy.
To debrief all this debunking, here’s the skinny:
If you hear a hymen being compared to fruit or referenced as a sign of virginity, I suggest firmly placing your pointer fingers into your earholes and uttering something like: “LA LA LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU.”
Discharge, female ejaculation and a natural scent are all normal occurrences and do not need to be hidden or avoided. If there has been a noticeable shift in one or multiple of these categories seek medical care, otherwise rest assured that our bodies are just doing their thing.
Care to share how clitorate you are after reading part two? Send your praises and or questions to sex@dailycardinal.com
