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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Thursday, March 28, 2024
Bucky

Badgers explosive in home opener with 22 first-half arrests

Known for their quick starts, the Badgers impressed Saturday as they accelerated and never looked back right from the gate—the tailgate that is. The impressive debut to the 2015 season witnessed a flurry of early action in what amounted to a 22-0 halftime lead over opponent Miami (OH) in arrests.

The Badgers’ home opener has historically been a lopsided affair in favor of UW but this year saw an even more disproportionate score than the past few season openers.

Analysts estimate that had the Badgers opposed the other Miami—also known as “The U”—the score would have been much closer.

“These levels of production, well I haven’t seen them, probably not since the Ron Dayne era. Maybe earlier,” head coach Paul Chryst commented.

While the second half was not nearly as dynamic offensively as the first, the Badgers did not allow the RedHawks a single arrest and came away with the sought-after donut.

“We’ve been training all summer for this moment. No, fuck that. Our whole lives!” proud defensive coordinator Dave Aranda said. “That 22-0 lead at half has been a lifetime in the making for many young Badgers. I only hope that the fire still burns and we come back next week even stronger.”

“Coach, Coach, they say the separation is in the preparation. How do you think that applies to today’s win?” a reporter particularly well-versed in coaching lingo asked.

Chryst responded with the usual nondescript empty statement.“We’ve had people preparing on Breese Terrace all last night. All morning. Jesus, we’ve got guys preparing during the game. That’s the Badger Way,” Chryst revealed.

Fans exulted each successful arrest and truly provided a unique atmosphere to Camp Randall this past Saturday. The entire student section erupted as Asher Alvarez, of no relation to athletic director Barry Alvarez, scored the 22nd unanswered point and was taken away by the men in blue with a game high .32 blood alcohol content just before the first half ended.

The Badgers will face off with the Troy Trojans this Saturday at 2:30 p.m.

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