It’s never too early to start formulating a plan for after you graduate. Lucky for you, Almanac has compiled all you need to know into one handy place. So whether you’re a senior eager to join the impenetrable workforce or an infant who just knows it’s best to develop crippling anxiety about the future sooner rather than later, your answers are here.
Go to Law or Medical School:
—You just haven’t gotten enough of studying
—Intrigued by having extra letters at the end of your name
—Best way to impress people at high school reunions
—The money’s decent
—Puts something behind oft-used phrase “I’m gonna sue your ass
to hell!”
—You’ve always wanted to be the rich aunt/uncle who gives cool
gifts
—Helping people find themselves crushed by absurd debt is your
passion
—What else are you going to do?
Go to Grad School in the Humanities:
—Get to incessantly talk about the GRE
—Will certainly help you in the real world
—Beats having to get a job
—It’ll be like applying to college all over again!
—You want to become an anthropology professor
—People will stop expecting anything from you
—You will fit right in with 18- and 19-year-olds on campus
—People will instantly know how smart you are
—What else are you going to do?
Join the workforce:
—At least someone values your expertise
—Welcome to the next 45 years of your life
—Get to bond with a new group of “work friends”
—You’ll have plenty of free time once you just buy your own place
and pop out a few kids—you know, settle
—It’s the American dream for fuck’s sake. What else do you ungrateful whiners want—a deeper human experience?
—People will think you’re a stable person
—Let the promotions roll in!
—You’ll be able to teach your boss how to use their iPhone
—What else are you going to do?
Move back in with your parents:
—Free rent
—Will get to rekindle relationships with people from high school
—Won’t need to adjust to a new city
—Can still be classified as a dependent
—Everyone’s doing it
—Mom is right in saying, “It will give you plenty of time to look for a job and a new place”
—There’s no place like home
—It’s the perfect beginning for the indie movie that is your life
—Your manager at Subway will be so glad to see you back
—What else are you going to do?
