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Wednesday, July 09, 2025

Platteville, Wisconsin Bitcoin Assembly sues Professional Women’s Bowling Association for acronym rights

In a lawsuit that is sure to draw national headlines before it’s over, the Platteville, Wisconsin Bitcoin Assembly is trying to sue the Professional Women’s Bowling Association out of their coveted acronym, PWBA.

The litigation seems odd, as the sequence of letters PWBA has been linked with the ladies bowling group since 1960, even before what we now know as the Internet was referred to as some weird entity called ARPANET. But executive members of the Platteville, Wisconsin Bitcoin Assembly think they might have found a loophole that will grant them their one true acronym.

“You see, ehhhm, if we look at this situation through the categorical imperative, ehhhm, or, ehhhm, with modal logic, ehhhm, nothing says that, ehhhm, the PWBA necessarily must mean, ehhhm, Professional Women’s Bowling Association, ehhhm, and not necessarily Platteville, Wisconsin Bitcoin Assembly,” co-founder of the Platteville, Wisconsin Bitcoin Assembly, Johann Weber, said.

On the other side of the table, members of the PWBA for bowlers don’t entirely understand why the Platteville, Wisconsin Bitcoin Assembly can’t just be content with sharing the acronym rights.

“Why can’t more than one organization share the same acronym?” asked perturbed bowling champ Melinda Vitale. “We don’t care if this stupid club wants to use PWBA. Just stop sending us cease and desists every other week.”

Weber had some interesting remarks, which towed the line between threatening and creepy.

“We shall, ehhhm, emerge victorious from this conflict,” Weber said. “If anyone can harness the power of, ehhhm, invisible markets and, ehhhm, the cameras in say, ehhhm, the ladies locker room, ehhhm, it’s us—the true PWBA.”

The attorneys for each side could not be reached for comment, but were seen poolside at the Platteville Country Inn, drinking Dom Perignon and rolling in piles of intangible money.

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