468—Saint Simplicius is elected to succeed Catholic Pope Hilarius. Hilarius goes down in history as the funniest Pope of all time; his legendary slapstick preaching methods are studied by young clergymen for hundreds of years.
1837—President Andrew Jackson and Congress recognize The Republic of Texas. It takes them a while, but once The Republic gets close enough, they definitely recognize it from somewhere.
1842—The first U.S. Child Labor law regulating working hours is passed in Massachusetts. All children in Massachusetts are now legally obligated to work 23 hours a day without guaranteed snack times.
1857—The Second Opium War begins when France and the United Kingdom declare war on China, proving that countries can get addicted to Opium Wars after only trying them once.
