University of Wisconsin-Madison freshman Stewart Miller was arrested and sent to detox at this past weekend’s football game after police spotted him mumbling along to “Build Me Up Buttercup.”
Miller, the only individual at the game not singing along in perfect unison, appeared to be so highly intoxicated that Camp Randall officials decided upon an immediate arrest.
After consenting to a breathalyzer test, it was revealed that Miller was completely sober.
Officer Sam Robinson, who made the initial arrest, claims he was only trying to look out for the safety and well being of the students when he tackled Miller to the ground, cuffed him and dragged him down the tunnel and into a holding cell.
“In all my years as an officer, I’ve never seen a student unsure of the lyrics. There was no doubt in my mind that his cognitive function was dangerously impaired. He had to be put down hard.”
The university has sided with Robinson.
Chancellor Rebecca Blank said in a Monday interview, “Officer Robinson, who may have made the arrest for the wrong reasons, did the University of Wisconsin-Madison a valuable service.”
Miller has issued an apology to the university and learned the lyrics to “Build Me Up Buttercup,” “Sweet Caroline,” “Varsity,” “If You Want to be a Badger,” and “Jump Around.” He also now knows that “we want more beer.” Instead of a show-and-blow, Miller is now required to recite all of these at the gate before being granted entry into the stadium.
The administration is taking this matter very seriously and will introduce a new program at next year’s SOAR to ensure all incoming students are gameday ready.
Miller’s final words to Cardinal reporters on the incident were, “If you want to be a Badger, then come along with me by the bright shining light of the sun. Got it.”
