There’s something about the first few weeks of school that I dread coming back to every year. No, it isn’t the fact that I have to sit inside doing work instead of enjoying the finally moderate weather (although this does kind of suck). Going back to my freshman year, it seems like without fail, by the end of the second week of classes I catch some kind of sickness.
Strep throat, which is always a jolly time, has been a popular one my last few go-rounds. This year, if my luck holds up, I might get away with just having a common cold.
Regardless, my second week back was made absolutely miserable by the side effects of having to deal with being sick, while simultaneously having to get up and go to class every day. Based on some of the sneezing and sniffling I heard around campus this past week, I wasn’t alone at the “I Feel Like Shit Fest” 2012.
Now we’ve all heard the spiel on how to avoid getting sick, about how sharing saliva and not washing your hands are no-no’s. Well, no measure of sanitary precaution was going to save me from my annual snot-a-thon, so I figured it wouldn’t be a bad idea to try something new.
Instead of just waiting the thing out, I wanted to see if there was anything that might make me feel better during the recovery process. So, in the name of unsubstantiated science, I present my findings in the field of ad hoc cold remedies.
I’ve always heard that vitamin C is good for the immune system, so that seemed like the most logical place to start. My best bet was going to be orange juice. As one of my favorite non-alcoholic beverages, I knew I could drink a whole lot of it quickly. I bought two bottles of some of the extra pulpy orange stuff and drank as much of it as possible over the course of three days.
In terms of making me feel better, it was hard to tell how much of an effect the OJ really had. I mean, my cold lost most of its potency after about four days, so the immune system boost probably helped. Speaking strictly on the short term, it made my mouth really dry only a few minutes after drinking it. I was caught in this weird loop of drinking orange juice to quench my thirst, but doing so only made me thirstier. Taking a vitamin C pill is probably a better idea.
My next lines of attack were very different from one another. To give my test a control group, I got some over-the-counter cold medicines. I didn’t notice much in terms of these making me less congested, but holy hot-flash they made me feel weird. Don’t take these unless you’re planning on staying inside and sleeping all day.
A third attempt at finding a magic cure naturally led me to caffeine. I normally consume a lot of coffee and energy drinks, so that’s where I started. This was not the best idea.
There was definitely something nice about having a little caffeine buzz, but the coffee made me dehydrated and the energy drinks hurt my stomach. The next thing I tried was totally brilliant: caffeinated water. Yes, that is what I meant to say. Someone had the brilliant idea to add caffeine to water, and despite feeling like crap, it really helped get me through the day.
While I wouldn’t say this little test was a failure, I by no means found the ultimate cold fix. Strangely, spending my Friday night chain-smoking and watching TLC drove a stake into the heart of whatever was making me feel sick, so maybe I’ll investigate that further.
The bottom line is that I’m convinced there is a solution to the lethargy and runniness of the common cold out there somewhere. I’m going to find it.
Have some suggestions to point Andy in the right direction in his search for the ultimate cold cure-all? Send ‘em his way, along with any questions or comments, at holsteen@wisc.edu.
