I know what you're thinking. It's the Thursday before Halloween, and I still haven't a clue what my costume will be. Or, worse yet, I have a great costume but my jerk-ass neighbor has the exact same one.
Whatever your dilemma, The Daily Cardinal arts desk is here to help with a list of absolute no-no's for this Halloween, as well as some life-saving ideas. Many a slutty nurse have died trying to get this information, but we've presented it to you in plain Adobe Garamond font, simply becasue we're tired of seeing the same costumes year after year.
Don'ts
The Coastie
In deciding what to dress up like for Halloween, people often strive for their costumes to be relevant to the times, location, etc. In Madison, this relevance can materialize into costumes like a badger, various political candidates or a cheesehead.
Another popular Madison-centric costume is a Coastie. From the stereotypical Ugg boots to the leggings to the North Face jacket, the persona has numerous identifiable traits that lend themselves to an easy costume.
You might think the coastie costume is clever, but it's not. If thousands of girls dress like that every day, mimicking it for one night isn't terribly creative. Still, the ensemble has been a popular choice for countless students looking to mock the campus identity, and chances are the outfit will cloak a few others this weekend.
Just don't do it. The Coastie costume isn't entertaining or original, and come Sunday, there will be countless people dressed up just as you had less than 12 hours ago. Personas are a great base of costume inspiration, but when the persona you choose to identify with for the night is overdone and lackluster, you'd be better off sticking to the standard ghost or witch, as neither demonstrates any more creativity than the Coastie costume.
—Jacqueline O'Reilly
Mario
Maybe five or ten years ago, some Italian guy with a big mustache and dimples to boot decided it might be a good idea to go as the Nintendo character, Mario, for Halloween. And it probably was a good idea at the time.
But since then, the Mario costume has become one of the most clichéd, unoriginal costumes on State Street. Between all the characters that have emerged in the Nintendo Franchise, a retro-gamer has the option to get really creative with their costume. But when was the last time you saw a Birdo or Koopa Troopa drunkenly wandering around? That's right, you never have.
Despite the entire kingdom of Nintendo characters ready to be adapted to costume, we still end up seeing a sea of Marios every year. So, gamers, unless you want to just be another mustached face in the crowd, think outside the NES this year.
—Jon Mitchell
""Jersey Shore""
Teaming up with friends to make a group ensemble is always a safe bet for a last-minute costume, but this year I have a feeling a certain group might be a little overdone: the ""Jersey Shore"" gang. Because of the show's immense popularity, Freakfest will inevitably be flooded with The Situation, Snooki, Pauly D and the rest of the motley crew.
As eccentric as these costumes may be, the fact is that they are old news. Anyone who's been in Madison this past semester has at least been to, heard of, puked at, hooked up in or hosted at least one ""Jersey Shore"" party.
Even if ""Jersey Shore"" is still a relatively new phenomenon, this Saturday night is not the time to embrace it. Unfortunately, that time has already passed. Lord knows, it may come again when Snooki makes her own reality show. But until then, steer clear of ""The Jersey Shore.""
—Nick Cusatis
Elvis
The King of Rock and Roll is anything but the king of Halloween. As immortal as Elvis' music and dancing was, his costume is anything but.
Anyone can throw on a wig and a bedazzled jump suit and resemble Elvis Presley. It simply lacks the wow factor. Enthusiasts have tried to spruce up this clichéd costume by making themselves ""Fat Elvis,"" inspired by the King's rather large figure during his long period of drug abuse. But even that twist has been overdone. My advice would be to stay away from the hip-swinging legend and put your thinking caps on to come up with a costume that will turn some heads.
Ultimately, the Elvis costume has suffered from the same demise that Elvis did—overdose.
—Nick Cusatis
Do's
Monster Mash-Ups
If you really want a variety of characters represented, a Monster Mash-up is the way to go. It's a fairly easy concept that combines two different people, costumes or anything else that makes sense. The best part is, you don't need a huge group of people to make it work; you just need yourself.
Examples of monster mash-ups include (but are not limited to) Ray Charles Barkley, Super Mario Lemieux, Stone Cold Steve Austin Powers, Walker Texas Power Ranger and Lil' Kim Kardashian. The list goes on and on, and anyone who's bright enough to get into UW-Madison should understand the wit that went into your costume.
Did I mention Buffalo Bill Cosby and Steve Martin Luther King Arthur? The possibilities are endless.
—Nick Cusatis
Be Literal
This Halloween, be more creative with your costume. Not necessarily creative in the sense that the actual character you're dressing up as has to be completely original. Instead of dressing up as some obscure animal, insect or object and making it ""cute"" or ""slutty,"" try a normal noun and take it literally.
The possibilities are unlimited. For example, be a chain smoker and simply wrap chains around your body and hold a pack of cigarettes. Or a killer bee, where you dress like a bee but then also have a butcher knife in one hand and blood splattered across your wings. Or a jailbird, where you dress like a bird but then wear a prisoner's costume. Or a con artist, where you dress in a suit but also bring along an easel and paint brush. These simple costumes are so much more unique than simply going as their usual interpretation.
—Madeline Anderson
Presidents
You can do so much with presidents. Many of them have evolved into characters so cartoony that any variation on their persona is acceptable––particularly if it's Nixon, Reagan or Clinton. Have an old costume and some friends you can team up with? Then you're set.
You could be the Teenage Mutant Ninja Presidents. You could go as a history book. You could parody the ridiculous ""sexy costume"" phenomenon and go as sexy presidents, an idea that several Cardinal editors attempted last year to varying levels of success.
Don't have friends because you're a lonely failure of a human being? No problem! There are numerous individual president ideas as well, such as wearing a sumo suit and a mustache to dress as Howard Taft, or putting a glass bowl over your head and dressing as the ""Futurama"" version of Nixon. All you need is a rubber president mask and the world is your Oval Office.
—Todd Stevens
