I remember my first Badger game quite well — on Aug. 30, 2008, the Badgers took the field at Camp Randall Stadium and trounced Akron 38-17 while I watched from section P in the north end zone. Obviously, I knew every single cheer, belted out the lyrics to all of the songs the PA system played, had every student section chants memorized and flawlessly executed the Time Warp dance during the Fifth Quarter.
Of course, in this retelling of that morning, the Badgers went on to meet every single one of my lofty expectations for the season and won the Rose Bowl. Also, at no point in the season did I curse the name/threaten the life of head coach Bret Bielema, senior quarterback Allan Evridge or senior running back P.J. Hill. Nope. Not once.
Nobody entirely knows what to expect the first time they pass under the giant stone gate at Camp Randall, or what to do for the wide variety of situations that require student participation. Hell, if you're anything like me your main concern is not having someone shout ""fucking freshman!"" in your direction.
Should you share those fears about your first Badger game, I hope I can help you out. I won't write out a guide to every single student section chant (just remember obscenity is your friend!) you'll catch on to those soon enough and be experienced fans by the time Northwestern comes to town Nov. 27. But I can give you these three simple tips for making the most of your first Camp Randall experience, or if you're not much of a football fan, your first visit to the Kohl Center for hockey or basketball.
Don't be a dumbass, you make all of us look bad
You probably won't see too many San Jose State fans in the student section Sept. 11, but by the time Minnesota and Ohio State visit in October you will have to deal with out-of-town fans. Yes, they're Gophers and Buckeyes. Yes, they're idiots. But don't be a tool.
Sure, everyone loves a nice ""Safety School"" chant with the Gophers, but being a good fan means more than just shouting curse words at some Ohio State fan visiting his friends in Madison. The summer before I came to UW the student section was named the meanest in college football, and that's because Badger fans are original and funny, not stupid assholes.
This isn't to say you shouldn't make fun of visiting fans, after all Jim Tressel's sweatervest deserves all the derision you can throw at it. But don't let some Buckeye fan go back to Columbus and say Badger fans are just a bunch of idiots.
Come on time, stay until the end
This is probably my biggest pet peeve with Wisconsin fans. There's only a couple more minutes until kickoff when the ""GET PUMPED THE FUCK UP!!!!"" montage plays, the Badgers storm out onto the field, the band blasts ""On Wisconsin"" and the whole stadium cheers. Well, 90% of it does, because half of the student section is still out playing beer pong on Breese Terrace.
Listen, I get that the pregame atmosphere around Camp Randall is awesome, and there's nothing better than getting trashed on someone's lawn at 10:30 a.m. But that's no excuse to show up to your seats in the last row of section K with five minutes left in the second quarter. It's one thing to get there late against Austin Peay, but with Paul Bunyan's Axe on the line against Minnesota you had better be in the stadium for kickoff.
The second part of my curmudgeoney ""You damn kids!"" complaint is that many of my fellow Badger fans seem to have ""Jump Around"" confused with the final whistle. Too often, students start to file out once the stadium's best-known tradition has ended. Yes, ""Jump Around"" is cool, but it's not an excuse to leave with another quarter of football to go.
Support your team and fellow fans
It's pretty simple: We all paid a lot of money to attend this school and watch its football team, so support them. If you're not happy with John Clay because of a few bad rushes, it's perfectly okay to be frustrated, but don't start screaming for Bielema to bench him. Being a good fan means coming to the games and supporting your team all the time.
As far as getting along with your fellow fans goes, just know that shit happens in the student section. You might get bumped into and you might get stepped on, but what's important to keep in mind is that you're here with a bunch of great fans who are also lucky enough to attend this amazing university.
Plus, no one wants to get arrested and put on the ""Show and Blow"" Breathalyzer list. Make the world a better place: Punch a Gopher fan instead.
Do you think it's cool to show up at halftime of football games? Do you find all the cheers and dancing to be somehow lame? E-mail Nico at savidgewilki@dailycardinal.com.
