The biggest intracollegiate newspaper football rivalry in the country will write another chapter in its storied history today as The Daily Cardinal and The Badger Herald face off in Vilas Park.
Last year, Lawrence Tayloresque defense from the Cardinal's Nate Carey and a strong passing game from junior quarterback Tom Shield propelled the powers of good to a 26-12 win over the forces of evil residing above Silver Mine Subs.
Shield returns for another year at quarterback, while the Cardinal will have to replace Carey's intimidating defensive presence. This year, a number of Cardinal players have stepped up to fill that gap, including Arts Editor Kyle ""Pain Train"" Sparks.
""The Herald know how I do it, baby!"" Sparks said. ""When it's game time, it's pain time! WOO!""
""Click-clack!"" he added.
Given the Herald's offseason, this year's victory should be the easiest yet for the heavily favored Cardinal.
Like their paper, many Badger Herald players have slimmed down over the summer, leading many experts to predict they will be effortlessly flattened by the Cardinal. Still, Herald Editor-in-Chief and potions professor Jason Smathers foolheartedly predicted success for his gang of flunkies.
""This game will be an introducion to an era of unlimted Herald dominance,"" Smathers said.
Weather could play a major role in the contests. Despite the rain anticipated for Friday afternoon, the Herald predicted a high of 447 degrees. Still, recently buffed-up former Cardinal head coach Ben Breiner said it should not be a major issue.
""Meh,"" Breiner said.
With the exception of 2007's game, which featured worse officiating than the 1972 Olympic basketball gold medal game, the Cardinal has roundly dominated the series. Editor-in-chief Charles Brace predicted another epic victory in 2009.
""Honestly, it won't even be fair."" Brace said. ""Bring it on, fuckers.""
