I woke up on Monday knowing it was going to be a special day: Star Wars Day, a veritable Christmas for geeks everywhere. Based off the fact that ""May the 4th be with you"" sounds remarkably like ""May the force be with you,"" the day is a lighthearted tribute to one of the most profitable film franchises in American history. I entered the day unsure of what to do to honor George Lucas' great film series.
I went to my first class, ""Introduction to Film,"" where we were doing a unit on science fiction. As we went through class, I paid rapt attention, learning about the various subgenres and genre hybridizations in the world of sci-fi. As we watched a clip from ""Return of the Jedi,"" I realized what I had to do. As soon as lecture ended, I sprinted home, ready to watch each and every ""Star Wars"" film in chronological order. I've recorded my experience here for you, both to bring attention to the great day and to allow the readership of Madison to laugh at my dorkiness.
3:00: I pop in ""The Phantom Menace"" and lie back on my sectional couch, excited to begin. About 20 minutes in, I remember why ""Episode I"" was such a disappointment. Some of the characters are good, but Jar Jar Binks is insufferable. Lucas excels at creating entire worlds of fantasy, but the dialogue in between can be as soft as a pile of bantha fodder.
5:30: After a short bathroom break, I delve into ""Attack of the Clones,"" another inferior member of the canon. At least Anakin Skywalker has grown up a bit, but Hayden Christensen's brooding teenager still doesn't hold a candle to Mark Hamill's Luke Skywalker of the original trilogy.
8:45: I decide a belated dinner is in order. I should have made my job easier by starting with the celebrated ""A New Hope"" and continuing into my personal favorite, 1980's ""The Empire Strikes Back."" Now I still had the 140-minute ""Revenge of the Sith"" sitting in between me and the trilogy I grew up with. One of my roommates walks by. ""‘Star Wars?' More like ‘Star Bores!' ‘Or Star Snores,'"" he says with a laugh. Despite his needling, I must continue on.
9:00: ""Revenge of the Sith"" begins. I'm excited because this is the best of the newer three movies, and it finally lets audiences see Anakin Skywalker make his transformation into Darth Vader. General Grievous mystifies me, as the concept of a robot with a persistent cough seems at odds with what other science fiction films have taught me. Still, the numerous Wookies, lack of Jar Jar Binks and high number of lightsaber battles makes ""Revenge of the Sith"" worth it.
11:45: Against all odds, I've managed to start ""A New Hope"" before midnight. Unfortunately, my editor is calling me every 10 minutes, begging me to send my story. Turns out yelling ""stop the presses"" for a story about me sitting on my sectional couch watching a bunch of ""Star Wars"" movies is frowned upon. Still, I vow to labor on, watching movies until I've become cemented to my couch like Jabba the Hutt.
2:00: Empire Strikes Back"" begins. My insomniac roommate is still up with me, but everyone else has gone to bed long ago. I am on my 3rd bottle of Mountain Dew, and feeling pretty good. ""Episode V"" is the best of the entire series, as it casts doubt on the rebellion's chances of overtaking the Empire. Luke Skywalker begins to find himself, Han Solo and Princess Leia's romance begins to blossom, and perhaps the coolest characters in the series, the bounty hunters, are introduced. So close to the end'¦
4:30: And finally, the moment is here. I've surpassed even my expectations by making it all the way to ""Return of the Jedi."" I'm ready for Lando Calrissian to move from zero to hero, I'm ready for Luke to showcase his improved training courtesy Yoda, and most of all, I'm ready for the climatic battle between father and son. But I have to stay awake for it. My roommate has already caught me dozing once, forcing me awake once again with a well-timed punch to the arm.
6:45: Finally finished. Cannot form complex sentences. Bed is a must. It's been a fun ride, but I can tell class is not going to be enjoyable tomorrow. Still, at least I don't have to fly through a razor-thin tunnel to fire a missile into a remarkably small exhaust pipe to save the galaxy. That's not until next week, when finals start
