Campus experts on sexual assault urged students to look for the roots of abuse in unhealthy relationships at a forum hosted by the Campus Women's Center Tuesday.
""There's this huge myth that we have to look out for the ‘guy in the bushes,'"" University Health Services Violence Prevention Specialist Carmen Hotvedt said. ""It's really the people we already know.""
UW-Madison senior Patrick Gavinski, one of seven who attended the panel, said many students stay in unhealthy relationships out of fear they can't find anything better.
""They get manipulated into thinking that what they have is good,"" he said. ""Relationships shouldn't be like sales where you work so hard through those 99 no's to get that one yes.""
Gavinski said he attended the panel to learn how to better aid his friends in unhealthy relationships. He said he sometimes found his advice wasn't enough for the gravity of the situation.
""I can only tell them so much,"" Gavinski said. ""They need to hear it from people knowledgeable about it, because that's much more comforting and empowering.""
Jenny Wagner, legal services coordinator for Domestic Abuse Intervention Services, said students tend to think they can change abusive partners by themselves when they cannot.
""You can't change the other party when they have the power, no matter how much you love them,"" she said.
Gavinski said many students try to help each other but are unaware of the resources available.
""There's an overwhelming amount of support available in all directions,"" he said. ""I was surprised to see all the ways you can get help without going to police right away.""
UW Police Department Detective Cheryl Radzinski said that even within the police department there are many different options for help, including offering advice and referring students to other services.
""It doesn't have to be a scary thing to talk to a police officer,"" she said. ""There are a lot of different solutions between talking to the police and ending up in court.""
