All sports legends are supposed to exit the field in the same way. Like the heroes of old Westerns, they ride into the sunset after the final battle, their glory forever etched in the minds of their adoring fans.
Former, - and I stress former - Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre seemed to mimic the stereotypical Hollywood exit when he tearfully announced his retirement during a press conference March 4.
No one wanted to see the three-time MVP leave the game after a loss, and few expected he would depart after helping such a young and talented team reverse its fortunes. But Favre never did what was normal. That's what made him great.
He went out on his own terms, and that was that. Cue the sad fiddle music and the sunset.
Actually, cut the music. What is Favre doing on Late Night with David Letterman""?
The interview began innocently and awkwardly enough. Favre and Letterman talked about Favre's family, partying the night before a college game and hunting on the day of a game Green Bay - the usual Favre topics.
Letterman asked him about an upcoming mini-camp, and Favre responded that he usually didn't go to that camp and would not miss it. But then Favre did his best Madame Cleo impersonation and remarked that later in the summer, as training camp neared, ""Something was going to happen.""
At that moment, many miles from the ""Late Night"" set, Aaron Rodgers either choked on whatever he was eating or wet his green and gold Zubaz.
Minutes later, Letterman held up a copy of Madden 2009, which features Favre on the cover, and our hero once again rode off into the sunset ... sort of.
Three days after Favre's appearance on Letterman, ESPN interviewed him for their weekly ""Sunday Conversation"" feature.
Suzy Kolber didn't ask any questions about the video game, and, in typical Favre fashion, he avoided any controversy by saying he was ""kinda' sorta' maybe happy with the difficult decision to retire that may or may not have been the right one, I don't know.""
Rodgers should seriously consider hiring a team of security guards to prevent some crazed Favre-loving, Cheesehead-wearing, shotgun-toting lunatic from giving Favre even more incentive to return to Green Bay.
Ted Thompson should seriously consider buying Favre his own private island to ""go away for a few months.""
And Favre should seriously consider staying on his riding mower in Kiln, Miss., until the middle of September.
If No. 4 stayed in Green Bay and threw interceptions until his arm fell off, it would have been fine with me. He earned that right with 16 unforgettable years. But since he walked away, he should stay away, if for no other reason than to keep Rodgers from suffering some sort of anxiety attack.
He will never be remotely close to the quarterback Favre was, and to make matters worse Rodgers now has second-round draft pick Brian Brohm glaring at him in the rear-view mirror. The last thing he needs is a future Hall of Famer saying, or at least implying, he could be back under center the moment Rodgers stubs his toe.
I can't blame Favre for being honest. I have enough trouble deciding between Cap n' Crunch and Lucky Charms in the morning. I can't image how difficult his decision must have been. To his credit, he's still the candid quarterback he always was.
He's not going to lie and say he looks forward to clearing brush when he knows he could be throwing touchdown passes to Donald Driver.
But as long as Favre is in the public eye, Packer fans will dream of a comeback, and Rodgers will have to find a good psychiatrist.
If you think Aaron Rodgers should be more worried about Brian Brohm taking his starting job, e-mail him at reszel@wisc.edu
