As a cashier, it seems that every single man in line is fooled into thinking he has a shot with you.
Because you're taking some guy's order and the call of duty forces you to be nice about it, he automatically assumes you're interested. Now, while some are more subtle than others, they never fail to make a move. Some are content with a wink or a smile, but others will stand in line forcing small talk from you for a good hour before a security guard finally gets them to move on.
The pick-up line seems to be a popular method, though they are never really that appealing, except for a good laugh. No, my legs aren't tired from running through your mind, I didn't just fall from heaven and although it is very sad that you lost your phone number, I really don't see how having mine would help. I commend these guys for the time and effort some of them must spend in their mother's basement thinking of these lines, but it would just be easier to start some small talk.
There are some guys who skip the cheesy pick-up lines and try to impress you with little odd facts about themselves. Usually it will have something to do with your work. I, for example, work at a movie theater, and every eligible bachelor assumes I will be impressed by macho movie choices.
And, of course, because your boss is standing right there, you have to act impressed that some 30-year-old creepy guy has seen the newest Harry Potter movie 13 times, and you must politely decline when he asks you to escort him to the 14th.
My favorite is when they tell you to keep the change and think that is really going to make your day.
Sure, it's great when you get a dollar, but most of my tips are a quarter or less at the theater. But I suppose you should always be grateful. Yes, thank you mystery man for that extra five cents, I will definitely call you now. Too bad that is not enough to pay for the call.
But it's even worse when some genius tells you to keep the change and there isn't any. When you can't figure out that you gave the cashier exact change, you might be better off with the pick-up lines.
Then there are some guys who just cross the line from flirtatious to desperate. These are the ones who stand around long after they have paid for their items and try to get as much personal information from you as they can. The first question will almost always involve whether or not you have a boyfriend.
In these situations I always find it helpful to be dating a 6'4' defensive tackle, a Kodiak bear or Keaton Miller, my sexy younger coworker. Or, if your imagination isn't as quick, being close enough to a male coworker to say, Sweetie, do you want to go to your place or mine after work?"" can save you from some of the real creepers.
But I don't want to sound like a man-basher. I have watched as plenty of male coworkers suffer through unwanted flirtation. It is simply the curse of the cashier.
Somehow, it always happens to my friend Jeff. Now, although I think Jeff is an attractive guy, it seems that 14-year-old girls really have a thing for him.
They hang around the box office and giggle, slide him little notes with heart-shaped ""yes"" or ""no"" boxes and ask him if he would like to join them for a soda pop and some roller-skating after work. If Jeff weren't six years older, it would be downright adorable.
As I pay my way through college, I am sure to have many more cashier jobs as well as expand my collection of hairnets and nametags. And although I will do some occasional flirting for that 10-cent tip, please don't tell me you need a library card so you can check me out. Just wink and move on.
If you have some work flirt horror stories, e-mail Megan at mcorbett2@wisc.edu.
