Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize.
The award, split between Gore and a UN panel for their efforts toward increasing awareness of global warming, has created some interesting situations. George Bush, someone who I think we all can agree hasn't done a hell of a lot to promote peace in the world, was forced to congratulate the man who was supposed to have his job. Republican pundits were forced to acknowledge that they might have been wrong about global warming - wait a second, pundits of EITHER party will never admit defeat.
Most importantly, the award has created hope amongst many Democrats that Gore will enter the 2008 presidential race. They believe that, despite strong candidacies from both Hillary and Obama, America just isn't quite ready to take that step yet and Gore would be the perfect candidate to return our country into a real - as opposed to de facto - global leader.
But I think the decision to give the Prize to Gore is interesting itself.
Let me state quite clearly that I respect the work Al Gore has done. As a semi-amateur media mogul, I agree with the scientific community's position on climate change. To put it bluntly, we're screwing up the atmosphere, and Gore has been doing a good job raising public awareness of global warming from Global warming? Isn't that what happens in the summer?"" to ""Global warming? Isn't that just another big thing Al Gore invented?""
The odd thing is I'm not sure exactly how raising awareness about global warming creates or promotes peace. Perhaps the Nobel Committee believes that Gore goes around distracting everyone with his talk about inconvenient truths and thereby distracts them from debating the usefulness of weapons. Maybe the Nobel Committee believes that the human race has been involved in a gigantic war of attrition with mother Earth, and that Gore's efforts were responsible for Earth's recent decision to halt its plans to deploy gigantic, skyscraper-eating beavers.
Of course, the Nobel Committee IS based in Norway, not too far from Amsterdam. They might have been really stoned.
If the Peace Prize is awarded simply for raising awareness about an issue, it should be relatively easy for me to win one, too. All I have to do is start a Facebook group. I'll call it something like ""If one million people join this group and agree to be relatively peaceful, I'll win the Peace Prize."" As an extra incentive, I'd agree to split the prize money among all the members.
It'd be an easy decision for the Prize Committee. On the one hand, they'll have some sort of foreign nationalist prick who spends all of his time ranting and raving about laying down arms, tearing apart the mine shaft shelters and disabling doomsday devices. On the other hand, they'll have me. The very name of my movement is proof of my suitability for the award.
My logic is unassailable - and so my victory is certain.
I'm sure that - like Gore's award - the committee's decision in my favor would create controversy. Analysts would deplore me for manipulating the committee when I had not, in fact, prevented major human conflict. Others would applaud me for creating a strong grassroots movement to the award for me.
But that's silly. The point of the Peace Prize is not to encourage people to work toward winning it. It's to acknowledge those who work on undesirable issues, who toil to heal wounds caused by human conflict and who prevent the giant beavers from ravaging our cities.
So Gore deserves the Prize and a second chance to lead his country into the - hopefully beaver-free - future. But with such a privilege comes a choice. A choice to descend back into the ridiculous and divisive world of American politics, or to stay out and attempt to do some good.
How ironic it is that, by rejecting an opportunity to run for president in what would be an almost certainly easier race than in 2000, Al Gore has proven once again his suitability for the job.
Keaton Miller is a senior majoring in math, economics and prize-winning. Help him succeed. Work toward world peace and the end of bad things. Join his Facebook group, and then e-mail him at keatonmiller@wisc.edu.
