Normally, I equate gambling with taking a giant crap on my money. My trips to the casino involve sitting at the nickel slots with the old ladies in their white gloves. But come March, I catch the wagering fever. No form of betting promises more entertainment than NCAA Tournament pools.
The madness started last week, as millions across the nation implemented intricate scientific methods for filling out their brackets. For most, this amounted to picking the higher seed. So when Kansas took down Niagara last week, these clever individuals could confidently aver, ""I just had a feeling they'd pull that one out.""
A portion of NCAA enthusiasts whip out their magic glass ball and predict crazy upsets. Of course upsets do happen every year, which leads to some assholes offering bullshit explanations about how VCU ""matched up well"" with Duke. Yeah, kind of like when I play Russian Roulette and just know that chamber is empty. I'm not buying it, you lucky bastards.
My favorite part, however, is the awkward failed attempts at social acclamation that takes place while watching the games. Your friend who thinks a ""diaper dandy"" is a job for Depends suddenly throws around lingo befitting an AND 1 t-shirt. He desperately tries to fit in with energetic shouts of ""He walked!"" but soon betrays this social faA§ade when he attempts to pronounce Krzyzewski.
My enjoyment is completed by the fact that the winners of most pools couldn't pick out Bo Ryan in a lineup of smiling men. Last year, a couple of mindless George Mason students pissed off thousands of self-proclaimed NCAA experts. Cruel irony makes my day.
