Fine dining in the Dirrrty South
In a May dispatch from Atlanta about Southerners' notoriously fat-laden cuisine, a Chicago Tribune reporter watered readers' mouths with descriptions of the ""hamdog"" and the ""Luther,"" prized dishes of Mulligan's restaurant in Decatur, Ga., which are, respectively, ""a half-pound of hamburger meat wrapped around a hot dog, which is deep-fried and served on a hoagie topped with chili, bacon and a fried egg,"" and ""a half-pound burger served with bacon and cheese on a Krispy Kreme doughnut.""
The 11 states from Washington, D.C., to Florida and west to Texas, have the nation's highest mortality rate from strokes, but, said a University of Mississippi professor, ""Food is a strong emblem of identity for Southerners,"" uniquely shared across racial lines.
— Chicago Tribune
Now here's some deep lickin'
Again this year, in April, Jim Werych of the Wednesday Night Classics car club in Brookfield, Wis., ritually dragged his tongue, in a deep lick, across Lisbon Road (with traffic stopped in both directions) to verify and proclaim, that the streets are free of winter salt and thus safe for the club's delicate classics.
— Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
WANTED:
MIDDLE-AGED MAN SEEKS UNDERAGE VIRGIN BRIDE
In April, Michael Theleman, 45, finding true love hard to come by in the isolated town of Bray, Okla., posted a yard sign offering to pay $1,000 for help in finding a ""virgin"" bride between the ages of 12 and 24. Offended neighbors convinced him to take it down, but he replaced it with another, stating that his future wife must not be ""pig-worshipping heathen [or] white supremacist."" Theleman said he couldn't understand the neighbors' furor, recalling that his grandmother was married at 14 to ""a much older man.""
— WRTV-TV (Indianapolis)
Brotherly Love
During the Santa Ana, Calif., murder-conspiracy trial of Aryan Brotherhood prison leaders in July, the lawyer for defendant Barry ""The Baron"" Mills (who was convicted along with colleague Tyler ""The Hulk"" Bingham) made the point that the Aryan Brotherhood is more of a social club than a criminal gang and mostly enjoys just ""playing cards, reading and crocheting.""
— The New York Times
