If there's one thing that journalists love talking about, it's themselves. Most journalists relish the opportunity to talk endlessly about all the theories regarding their profession. At times it may alienate readers with profession-specific jargon, but I can assure you that no writer ever does it on purpose.
I'll never tell you about journalistic integrity and how important it is for maintaining a healthy democracy, but then again I'm not your average journalist.
You see, average journalists can't help but talk about the massive responsibility they have as the ""fourth branch of the government."" Don't believe me? If you find yourself in a journalism class, make sure to say the word ""conglomeration"" at least once a discussion. It's an easy A.
Typical journalists would prefer to stick with old, worn-out theories like the ""inverted pyramid."" To me, that just proves how out of touch the mainstream media is with average U.S. citizens.
I think people deserve better than to hear over and over about how writers labor for hours with their coffee and laptops, meticulously selecting each word for maximum meaning and efficiency, then painstakingly editing and revising their work until it approaches perfection.
They see me struggle with difficult ideas and conflicting viewpoints, only to come up with a magnificently eloquent piece examining the fundamental truths of the human condition, and they just get it. It's beneath my readers to have to read as I describe my craft, because I know my readers already understand what a hard life I lead.
You'll never hear me pontificate on the merits of print versus television news, or how the Internet is going to paradigmatically shift the news' business model. Don't have time. I've got better things to do.
A lot of journalists will write in their blogs about how the Internet is a democratizing force that enables millions of people to contribute to a meaningful public discourse. I can't tell you how much I hate the prospect of it.
Sometimes, lesser journalists will tell you all about how we are witnessing the rise of commercialism and sensationalism in the corporate media. As a matter of fact, they'll probably take time from writing a piece on how Ugg boots are destroying the fabric of civilization just to fill you in. That's how serious the problem is.
But I'm not going to stand up here on my soapbox and tell you all of these things you already know, like all the reasons why newspaper readership is in steady decline.
I can tell that sometimes my friends have the urge to complain about their organic chemistry class or how hard a particularly ""challenging"" titration problem is. But they always bite their tongues, realizing that they ARE talking to a communications major after all.
They couldn't possibly understand the difficulties my chosen profession deals me on a daily basis. How could they? I've got some pretty bright friends, but can they hypothesize about the artistic merits of the new Umphrey's McGee album? They shouldn't be expected to—that's why I'm here. It's quite a burden, really.
I really do appreciate their sympathy though. Sometimes I wonder why they didn't major in social sciences in the first place. I mean, guaranteed job, right? But hey, it's their lives. Somebody has to cure cancer (I guess).
If you have any sympathies for Ryan's major, e-mail him at gallentine@wisc.edu.
