The first day of school used to be such a big deal. My mom would take me to Kohl's to help me pick out a schnazzy outfit. I would devote countless hours to arranging, then re-arranging my school supplies based on shape and color and NBA team logos. Once all the important business was put to rest, I'd climb into bed for a few winks as the nervous anticipation of finally being a junior in college kept me from getting any real sleep.
But the excitement of past first days paled in comparison to the build-up for the start of my senior year. And the reason for my giddiness? Well, that would be Professor Kevin Barrett, of course.
If you were away from Madison this summer or just out of the news loops, perhaps you're not familiar with Barrett. That's a shame. Luckily for you, I've kept a close watch on this story and can sum it up in ten syllables.
Kev-in Bar-ret is to-tal-ly cuh-ra-zy.
So, I lied. That's 11 syllables. But I've never been much for math. I just call it like I see it. So does Kevin Barrett. He sees the government's explanation for the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks. He just doesn't buy it.
They say it was terrorists. He says otherwise.
This obviously makes him very popular with the folks over at Fox News. So popular, in fact, that he's made several appearances on the network. The Republican-controlled state legislature is also smitten with Barrett. Sixty-one legislators showed their admiration by signing a resolution asking the university to bar him from teaching his introductory Islam course. A class, it just so happens, yours truly is enrolled in.
I want to say I signed up for Religious Studies 370 last spring, and that taking this class was just another step along the academic path to enlightenment. But I can't do that. I'm in this class because I like a good spectacle. When David Blaine locked himself inside that bubble of water, I tuned in to see him nearly die on national television. When Paris and Nicole finally had their face-to-face confrontation on The Simple Life, I couldn't be disturbed. And you better believe I'll be tuning in when that dynamic duo reunites on Letterman later this month.
But taking Barrett's class was supposed to hold me over until that epic summit. After a summer of waiting, the moment of truth finally came Tuesday. I made sure to get to class early, as I anticipated seats would be tough to get. Sure enough, it was a full houseâ_made fuller, not to mention a bit more odiferous, by the throng of journalists huddled at the back of the lecture hall.
To be quite honest, the venue itself was a little disappointing. Instead of one of the mega lecture halls with nap-inducing reclining chairs, Barrett's class is stuck in a basement classroom with seating more likely to induce future back problems. But I wasn't about to let that ruin the experience. I took a front row seat and gave the syllabus a once-over. No vitriolic anti-Bush rhetoric anywhere to be found. Apparently he saves that for the lecture.
But a full hour of lecture went by, and Barrett didn't once dip into the crazy bag. Sure, the bad jokes were quaint, and the untucked shirt and unkempt beard look were a nice touch, but is a little flag-burning too much to ask for? To top it off, he had the nerve to end class early!
As I got up to leave, the journalists descended upon Barrett. I was too disgusted to stick around for that portion of the afternoon, but I can imagine the first question they asked was, ""I thought you were supposed to be crazy. What gives?"" At least that's what I'm wondering.
