Summer movies come and summer movies go, some are worthwhile and some are so-so. This year's crop has no shortage of superheroes, stoners, Scientologists, seafarers and of course, snakes. On planes. Here's a sampling of what you might line up for days to get tickets for... or what you might catch while just trying to chill in those nice, cool air-conditioned theaters. As they say in Grease,\ ""Summer days, driftin' away, to oh oh oh... summer cartoon-version Keanu Reeveses.""
‘Clerks II'
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's... Jay and Silent Bob? Yes, you read it correctly. After swearing their retirement in 2001's ""Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back,"" director (and Bob himself) Kevin Smith has revived the potty-mouthed duo and their pot-dealing ways in the long-awaited sequel to the 1994 cult-classic ""Clerks.""
Returning with them to the Quick Stop are Dante and Randal, who 12 years later have not made any advancements in their quest to find the upside to unskilled labor. After leaving the coffee maker on and burning down the Quick Stop, Dante and Randal reluctantly find work flipping burgers at a local fast-food joint. Smith favorites Jason Lee and Ben Affleck turn in cameos to add to the madness. Let the fart and sex jokes ensue.
—Derek Eby
‘The Da Vinci Code'
Fresh off its victory over plagiarism charges, Dan Brown's delectably blasphemous thriller ""The Da Vinci Code"" hits the big screen this summer, directed by Ron Howard. Tom Hanks stars as dashing Harvard intellectual Robert Langdon and is joined by Ian McKellen and ""Amélie's"" Audrey Tautou.
The purportedly true mythology that forms ""The Da Vinci Code's"" basis is debatable—for one, ""Les Dossiers Secrets"" that Brown relies on have been widely accepted as a hoax for years. Even so, Brown busting the lid off a sensational (if partially fictional) conspiracy involving the holiness of Jesus, the symbology of art history and the nature of the Holy Grail made for an astounding book. Blending fact and fiction has worked like gold for film in the past—look no further than Oliver Stone's magnificent ""JFK"" for an example—and ""The Da Vinci Code"" will probably continue the trend.
—Dan Wohl
‘Lady in the Water'
A new movie from M. Night Shyamalan is like a small, unannounced treat that quietly redefines the horror genre every couple of years. One cannot deny that each and every one of them is a work of rare and precious genius. His last film, ""The Village,"" grossed almost $115 million at the box office, and while controversial, those audiences who truly appreciate a good M. Night ending held respect for its strangely terrifying double twist.
Shyamalan's creativity is bold and wholly aware of itself as a unique cinematic anomaly. Nobody makes movies like M. Night, which is why ""Lady in the Water,"" its mystery preserved for those who eagerly await its arrival, will likely be nothing short of one more fantastic adventure crafted by the master himself.
—Tarah Scalzo
‘Miami Vice'
Michael Mann, the masterful director who has given us ""Heat"" and ""Last of the Mohicans,"" revisits his '80s career this summer with a revamp of the popular show he created, ""Miami Vice."" Instead of Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas going stylishly undercover to nail drug cartels, this big-budget update has Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx as Crockett and Tubbs.
It looks like we can expect a more serious attitude than the show had—Crockett probably won't have an alligator this time—and its ultra-cool look is more reminiscent of Mann's recent ""Collateral."" Details are still somewhat vague, but this ""Vice"" will involve drug and arms trafficking and an affair between Crockett and a villain's wife (Gong Li). If the film lives up to the potential of its fantastic trailer, this could be on par with Mann's other, stellar crime films.
—Joe Pudas
‘Mission: Impossible III'
""Mission: Impossible III"" looks like it will be this summer's obligatory blockbuster, with Tom Cruise reprising his role as a secret agent, high-octane explosions and daring acrobatic stunts. It is also probably one of the most pre-judged films of the season, between Cruise's increasingly unnerving public behavior and its two fairly basic predecessors.
However, appearances may be deceiving. Philip Seymour Hoffman, one of the most intriguing actors in film right now, will be playing a psychotic arms dealer and his taste for unnerving roles should make him an excellent foil to Cruise. Also, ""Lost"" and ""Alias"" creator J.J. Abrams is replacing John Woo in the director's chair, and with his love for the complex the currently secret plot could have unanticipated depth.
""M:I III"" may look standard, but it could turn out to be one of this summer's biggest surprises—a high-gloss action film worth seeing for more than just stuff blowing up.
—Les Chappell
‘Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest'
Just when audiences thought they had seen the last of the eye-liner-wearing, wise-cracking glam pirate, Jack Sparrow manages to stroll into trouble once more in ""Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.""
Johnny Depp reprises the role of the ill-fated Sparrow, who discovers that he owes a blood debt to the infamous Davey Jones. If Sparrow fails to find a way to escape his debt, it means eternal damnation for the sassy captain.
Of course, it is not a sequel without the handsome couple, Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley). The lovebirds cross paths with Sparrow yet again, just in time to join him on another one of his adventures. It is a race against time as Jack's life is at stake. Fans of the first film will certainly appreciate the humor, romance and thrill featured in ""Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.""
—Eunice Abraham
‘A Scanner Darkly'
In what could possibly be the most innovative, distinctive mainstream film this summer, ""A Scanner Darkly"" boasts an all-star cast and the usually reliable direction of Richard Linklater (""School of Rock,"" ""Before Sunrise,"" ""Dazed and Confused""). What makes it especially noteworthy is its ""interpolated rotoscoping"" animation technique, in which sensors placed on the actors' bodies create a nearly photorealistic representation of them.
Linklater previously employed this technique in 2001's philosophical cult classic ""Waking Life,"" as did Robert Zemeckis with ""The Polar Express,"" but ""A Scanner Darkly"" has an even more sophisticated visual look. The film is based on a twisty, slightly futuristic story by Philip K. Dick and stars Keanu Reeves as an undercover detective who has to abuse a particularly dangerous drug, Substance D, in order to track a number of people.
In the process, Reeves begins to lose his mind and ability to differentiate between what is real and what is drug-induced. Also starring Robert Downey Jr., Woody Harrelson and Winona Ryder, ""A Scanner Darkly"" promises to be a trippy, unpredictable thriller.
—Joe Pudas
‘Snakes on a Plane'
One of the most anticipated films of the summer is ""Snakes on a Plane,"" in which Samuel L. Jackson plays an FBI agent trying to protect a government witness from a planeload of chemically-driven poisonous snakes. The movie has created as much buzz as any on this summer's slate.
The film, which Wired Magazine already called the year's worst film (in January), has become a darling on Internet bloggers and ""SoaP"" merchandise bootleggers.
The Internet hype of the film may eventually make ""Snakes"" a cult classic and already makes it the dark-horse blockbuster of the summer.
—Brad Boron
‘Strangers with Candy'
In American twentieth-century pop culture, ""Strangers with Candy"" fills an important niche. Let the wisdom of protagonist Jerri Blank describe it:
""Stoney and I would go over to Buckle's and Puff would turn us on to a hot load of mescaline crumbled into a tumbler of ether with a float of Percocet jimmies. I'd wake up with blood on my ass, and then we'd get high. Those were some good times!""
""Strangers with Candy"" is a TV show created by Stephen Colbert and Amy Sedaris that ran on Comedy Central from 1999 to 2000. As is probably evident by now, the show has been made into a movie. If you go on opening night, bring your hippie-bashing billy club and riot gear, because with the profanity and ethnic slurs that pour from Jerri's mouth, you should expect a few cadres of bleeding-heart protesters. And don't wear fur.
—Oren Rosenberg
""Superman Returns""
The Man of Steel returns, with Brandon Routh filling the title role. Director Bryan Singer (""The Usual Suspects,"" ""X2"") decided to treat the first two Christopher Reeve films as the gospel, and sets ""Returns"" after ""Superman II,"" negating the third and fourth films.
Although very little of the plot has been discussed, the film begins with Superman returning to Earth after five years in space, only to find the world has moved on without him. Of course, Lex Luthor, played by Kevin Spacey, will ensure that Superman's homecoming is even less pleasant. Kate Bosworth co-stars as Lois Lane.
—Brad Boron
‘X-Men: The Last Stand'
Mutants from all walks of life continue their unending struggle for acceptance in ""X-Men: The Last Stand."" The final installment of the live-action ""X-Men"" saga is sure to top its predecessors with twice the action and drama.
Tensions brew as a ""cure"" to treat genetic mutations is discovered. This cure deepens the divide between Professor Xavier's (Patrick Stewart) tolerance advocating X-Men and the malevolent Brotherhood led by Magneto (Ian McKellen).
The X-Men's problems escalate as Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) is resurrected as the deadly and powerful Phoenix. Along with new allies, the X-Men must find a way to harness the uncontrollable Phoenix and win the war against the evil Brotherhood of Mutants. With an all-star cast and what looks to be mind-blowing action, ""X-Men: The Last Stand"" will be a must see.
—Eunice Abraham
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