I suppose you know a debate is warranted when it's discussed on PTI.\ But maybe it's just in the best interest of Kornheiser and Wilbon, or even the producers of the show for that matter, to supplement potentially dead air with a question that nobody had even considered or cared about prior to it being proposed. I kept this in mind a couple weeks ago when The Studio Voice asked, ""What do people care more about: the NBA Playoffs or the NFL Draft?""
What? Excuse me? This is a debate between two months of entertaining basketball and two days of merely football-oriented activities that presents itself as a male, annual version of ""The View."" Talk, talk and more talk. Chris Mortensen and whoever else waits for inside scoops like ""US Weekly"" correspondents while NFL teams supply the juice. And teams rarely leak anything substantial. They will only go to the press with feigned interest for a given player so that other teams hear about it and trade up when they really didn't have to.
And when I really think about it, this is a legitimate—like the aptly named title of the show's segment which began the discussion—Toss Up! I'll enjoy the playoffs, but the draft has the intrigue. It has the possibilities that you like thinking about. And the anticipation when Tagliabue walks up to the podium? That's good stuff. It's last-second shot type stuff, and sometimes it's even better. After all, the shot doesn't always go in but—as long as the Vikings aren't on the clock—someone's name gets called.
And let's not forget, ESPN has turned the draft into the sports equivalent of a presidential election. Every day on ""SportsCenter"" there is an update on a player, a story about a team or an expert roundtable on any given team's selection.
The draft gets more after-the-break-teasers than Barry Bonds and the sport of hockey combined. So clearly it's working. The draft has unparalleled appeal and apparently nobody can resist it.
That probably includes you. So it follows that if I'd like you to keep reading—and, you know, whatever—I should put you under my NFL-Draft-talk-spell and give you the outsider's low-down on this year's teams and prospects. This isn't your grandfather's draft preview....
...The Texans have the pick first ,and I say they take Reggie. If the Saints had the No.1 pick I would say it's OK to let him slide, but the Texans know what to do. They're not going to get too carried away with guys like...
...Defensive end Mario Williams from N.C. State who is being called the second best player on the board. Why would you take someone at that position so high? I know everyone says he's fast and quick and agile, but I have a feeling it's just an optical illusion. If you've seen his highlights you'll notice that he wears the No. 9. And he's a defensive end. If you have a number in single-digits, you'll look fast. Put No. 68 on Reggie Bush and I bet combine officials would try to fix the clock if he ran a 4.35.
...According to scouts, the third best player on the board goes by the name of D'Brickashaw Ferguson, an offensive tackle from UVA.
Now, I would have drafted God Shammgod. I would have drafted Majestic Mapp. And I would have built my franchise around Peerless Price. So you can be damn sure if I was the GM for the Jets or anyone after that, I would draft Mr. Ferguson aka Da Brick. By the way, when I ran the spell-check and decided that his name should be ""Added to Dictionary,"" the paper clip in the corner called me an idiot and Word shut down. He's polarizing like that...
...Ahh, yes, the great QB debate. It's been on PTI so I should probably address it: Young or Leinart? Since we are talking about top 10 picks, I only like guys who have the potential to be Hall-of-Famers. Leinart can be, in the right offense. Young can be, if he stays healthy throughout his career. But 2006's third banana, Jay ""I Already Know How Painfully Obvious and Annoying Berman's Nickname for Him Will Be"" Cutler, shouldn't be overlooked.
As recently as two years ago, people weren't sure if Eli Manning or Philip Rivers would arrive in Canton first. But the third quarterback taken that year already has a Super Bowl ring and staggering record as a starter. On the other hand, the year before that, the third QB taken in the first round was Kyle Boller. So...I guess we'll see.
...Finally, the combine. What can I say—that hasn't already been said—about the combine? Other then, ""I think it is very useful,"" which, of course, nobody has ever said because it's so worthless.
How hard did Ronnie Lott hit at the combine? How well did Emmitt Smith see the field at the combine? Nobody knows because those things aren't measured. Good workouts (somehow) deceive scouts but in-game performance should tell you most of what you need to know.
With that said, good workout or not, the steals of the draft include: running back Joseph Addai (LSU), wide receiver Derek Hagan (ASU), linebacker DeMeco Ryans (Alabama) and defensive ends Mathias Kiwanuka (BC) and Tamba Hali (Penn State).
I know you'll enjoy it this Saturday, in inexplicably entertaining 15-minute intervals in which the draft flops get their precise allotment of fame. I know I'll be watching.
Wait, Mifflin's this Saturday? Draft schmaft.
Unless you insist on watching, in which case I'm sure you'll find a compromise.
Maybe drinking every time someone on the telecast says ""football""—or, perhaps, every time someone uses a conjunction.
If your joining the Mifflin Street Draft Party contact Ben Hubner at bphubner@wisc.edu.
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