It's been a long week in the midst of a long semester. My well of academic determination has dried up and is now nothing more than the means to an end. The 'end' being launching a baby down it. Yeah, you read me.
Honestly, there's too much shit hitting the fan. I think everyone could benefit from a baby falling down a well.
In other words, some sensational news story full of common-man-sized heroism with a good outcome all but guaranteed. We could be distracted from the drudgery of homework and midterms, work and gas prices, ill-begotten wars and states covered in mud and water. I guess there's one person that wouldn't benefit from this, but he or she would be small and couldn't object, what with lacking the ability to talk.
It's a small sacrifice for something that would take our collectively burnt- out minds off of our difficulties.
As if homework, quizzes and papers weren't enough, there are the classes that seem to misunderstand the word 'midterm' and take it to mean mid-twice-a-month-or-every-other-week-whichever-is-more-frequent-term. Yes, I'm learning. Yes, I paid for this, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.
Above and beyond all this, there's always that one thing that makes it even worse. For me, it'd be the professor that decided the three lectures and one discussion a week on the timetable wasn't appropriate and changed it to four lectures a week sans discussion. You hear that, UW-Madison?! How dare you designate the time scheduling of classes based on a work-load versus credit basis! And this one thing is just that extra straw that makes you want to stab your professor in the eye.
I'm willing to bet 99 percent of you know exactly what I'm talking about. As for the remainder of you, quit majoring in philosophy (27 credits, are you f*#king kidding me?!).
The downside is that the professor in my instance is old, and thus I go through with it. I don't care what everyone thinks of me, I'm just going to come out and say it. Call me a discriminating bigot, but I am against elderly ocular impalement. So there.
I can already hear people complaining, 'Why are you coddling the more 'matured' or 'ripened' professors? Don't all professors deserve what's coming to them'?
To answer your second question is yes'all professors deserve their comeuppance. The downside is that there are very few bad professors. If you have one of the few bad apples who is secure in his/her tenure, lies about the curve, fails everyone in the class and gives exams on material not covered, you have my sympathy. However, most cases, mine included, are simply a student not learning as well as they would like from a certain teaching style. While it pains me to say it, my professor is good. I simply disagree with how the course is being run.
Then there's the issue of why I'm lenient to the elderly educators, be they good or bad. This is because they are old and deserve our respect and appreciation, or something. More so, my aged professor reminds me a little of Yoda, and we all know Yoda. He was mean and gruff and at times spoke using peculiar incoherent jargon, but if one thing was true, it was that you should not stab Yoda in the eye.
So in summation: no to puncturing your old professors ,and yes to hurling infants into obsolete backyard plumbing. It worked for me.
