There are a lot of problems facing the world today'impending pandemics, global warming, war, even VH1's 'Celebreality' programming block.
As humble college students, it may seem like we can't do anything to combat these evils. While it's true there's no escaping 'My Fair Brady,' and there's nothing you can do about the avian flu (not to be confused with the Evian flu, which is contracted by drinking too much bottled water), there's no need to fret.
Not all is lost. You too can help save the world. All you need is a pen, an e-mail address and two legs to carry you to the nearest sidewalk activist.
Walk down State Street any afternoon, and you're certain to encounter at least one of them. A word for the wise though, be careful with what cause you choose to sign on with, because not all of them are created equal.
Take the 'Madison Bring Our Troops Home Referendum' movement, for example. Most people have no idea a Midwestern municipality can end a major military conflict just by putting it on a referendum. The reason most people have no idea about this is because it's not going to happen.
Not since the Spanish-American War'which, I believe ended when President McKinley received a nasty letter from Harrisburg, Pa.'has a city brought an end to a war.
Can you imagine George W. Bush's response to a letter from the City of Madison? Somehow, I doubt it would involve the cessation of all hostilities in the Middle East. It really makes you wonder if this referendum business is worth all the paper.
Remember the old 'School House Rock' video of how a bill becomes a law? Well, this referendum is a perfect example of that. Except, insert 'Madison's petition' in place of 'bill' and 'Presidential toilet paper' instead of 'law.'
And while I'm on the topic of conservation, I'd like to switch gears and address another of the sidewalk campaigns, none other than the movement to save the environment.
Don't get me wrong here. I'm sensitive to the environment. My friend always forwards me e-mails about it, so when it comes to the destruction of the rain forests or the melting of the ice caps, I like to think I'm pretty well informed.
So you can imagine how distraught I was last week when an environmental activist stopped me and asked, 'Can you spare a minute for the environment'?
Normally, I could spare a minute for the environment?? maybe even three or four. But at that moment in my life I was late for class and I didn't even have seven seconds. Not for the environment, not for anything. Even if he'd said something like 'Can you spare a minute for free hot dogs and a shiatsu massage'? I wouldn't have stopped. My schedule for the day just wouldn't allow it.
Now, I don't want any of you to get the wrong idea. I think these sidewalk activists are doing great things. So great, in fact, that I encourage every single student to stop and talk to them next time they walk down the street. Maybe that way, they'll be distracted when I go by. One can only hope.
