This week, I wanted to write my column on hockey. Any sort of hockey. Pro, NCAA, Pee Wee-any of these would have worked. Any decent column (so I'm told) needs a catchy intro, however. So here we go.
Remember the cartoon \ProStars?"" It's OK if you don't. Most people don't remember it either, especially since, according to five minutes of Google searching, I found out that there were only three episodes.
The premise of the show was that Michael Jordan, Bo Jackson and Wayne Gretzky teamed up to fight crime with their athletic prowess. The theme song was to the tune of ""We Will Rock You"" by Queen and the words were remodeled as ""We are, we are ProStars!"" But, it was the tagline of the show that really hit hard in my six-year-old conscience: ""ProStars. It's all about helping kids.""
I loved that show. If anyone has it on Beta, video tape or even DVD, my e-mail is at the bottom of this column-please contact me.
Gretzky, who played the comic relief to Jordan's straight man and Jackson's sheer muscle, skated around on roller blades that popped out of his shoes and took down bad guys with wristers and slap shots. I wanted those shoes, too. Anyway, there's a connection here.
I was looking around for any worthy goings-on in the hockey world when I stumbled upon the fact that ""The Great One"" is now the head coach of the Phoenix Coyotes (the old Winnipeg Jets franchise).
Let me reiterate. The single-most dominant athlete to ever play a sport is now a head coach. This left me wondering if this was a good idea.
The answer, of course, is that it's a great idea. In light of last year's NHL strike, putting pandas in tutus on the ice would be a good idea. The NHL needs all the press it can get after nearly destroying the sport.
Gretzky, however, has come under some fire from a few places. Ex-elite players, so they say, don't always make the best coaches. Yogi Bera failed in his stint with the Yankees and Magic Johnson's fling with the Lakers was tragic-and that's just to name a few.
The common theory is that these legends of sport often become frustrated with players who are only human. The fact that Coyote's left wing Oleg Saprykin can't drop a hat trick in four minutes of play might frustrate Gretzky and make him ineffective as a coach.
I don't buy it. Although Gretzky is 1-3 so far this season, there is plenty of hockey left to play. I think he'll make a decent head coach.
He won't be the next Scotty Bowman, but then, who would? Gretzky has seen it all and done it all. I'd be shocked if he was unable to impart just a little bit of his extensive knowledge to his players.
All in all, the man is an amazing figure. Had he never scored a single goal, he would still be the all-time points leader in the NHL. For one, I'm excited to see what happens to hockey in Phoenix in the next few years. If nothing else, ""It's all about helping the kids.""
E-mail Connor at cgmcknight@wisc.edu if you have any form of ""ProStars."" available in your attic.
