\What makes UW-Madison kids think they're so Ivy League?"" Meet Becca, a friend of mine since elementary school - kind-hearted, quick-witted and an environmental science major. She was asking an honest question, and I had so many answers, but I couldn't articulate any at that moment.
Did I mention Becca is the proudest Minnesota Golden Gopher I know?
""I don't know,"" I told her. I did know. The trivia facts on those admissions slide shows popped in my head too late. I should have come back swinging with ""More CEOs graduate from UW-Madison than any other school."" But I froze and told her a cop-out answer.
""Becca, you and I both know that Minnesota and UW-Madison are the same school four hours apart."" I regretted writing it after I wrote it. Yes, UW-Madison and Minnesota are more alike than different, but the same? That line was a disservice to both of our institutions.
Since our conversation a few weeks ago, I have been trying to respond to Becca definitively. I don't think we consider ourselves Ivy League, but I think our Badger pride can frighten people sometimes. What I needed to explain to her is why UW-Madison kids get so excited about their school. To do this, I had to go to Minnesota to survey the competition.
My mission: Find the things that separate us from the University of Minnesota. Because my time there was limited, both universities will be considered in football game form only. So saying UW-Madison has more researchers won't make the list, unless of course they had beakers and test tubes out next to the snack bar (and they didn't-I did a quick check).
School Colors
This one is a no-brainer. School colors should be chosen carefully. I don't know if Minnesota got the last pick in the school colors draft, but maroon and gold don't look very nice on anyone. A gopher fan heard me cracking jokes about his school colors and told me we looked like candy canes. Is that even an insult? Candy canes are delicious and make your breath smell nice. Good try, Gophers.
Spirit
I am going to give credit where credit is due on this one. Minnesota did make it through an entire football game without doing cheers that would make old people uncomfortable. It was refreshing. They are the Will Smiths of student sections - very friendly and supportive of the team. I like to consider Wisconsin more like Eminem. We may be crass, disrespectful and drunk, but we keep selling records, and people keep coming back because we are creative - we have mad beats (thanks, band) and enough hits to keep us going the whole game.
Mascots
This may sound odd, but Bucky is one very attractive woodland creature. Look at his eyes. Those are passionate eyes. You can tell Bucky is a sensitive lover. His sweater has a nice clean vertical line that looks fitted, but not too tight and he doesn't wear pants. What a charmer. Goldy seems like a nice guy, free-spirited, athletic and loves to wear capes. It would be a tie except for the buckteeth. What are you planning on doing with those Goldy? It will take you a long time to kill me with two flattened chompers. My friend Sarah said it best; ""When I had bad teeth, I got them fixed.""
Sorry Goldy (and Becca), this was a close one. Get some better colors, more cheers and a set of headgear and we'll see you in Madison next year.
Erin can be reached for comments at erincanty8285@hotmail.com.
