Congratulations, Badgers: We guzzled, gulped, groped and gagged our way to an honor never yet realized in the history of our beer-blooded student body. We received Princeton Review's highest honor as the No. 1 party school in the nation. Like a fly preserved in a jello shot, frozen in time, our alma mater will go down in the history books as the school that always parties and never sleeps. Except during lecture.
The Princeton Review arrived at the conclusion based on survey responses concerning alcohol and drug use, hours of study each day and the number of students in fraternities and sororities. Associated Students of Madison Chair Eric Varney expects many students will receive the ranking with pride since it \shows that we work hard, but we play hard also.""
Indeed, the same survey listed Madison as one of the 158 best colleges in the Midwest. In its annual survey released in August, U.S. News and World Report ranked Madison No. 34 among national universities. Unfortunately, our reputation as a party school seems to transcend our reputation as an academically outstanding university.
We binge, beer-bong and imbibe our way to infamy, but we do it at a high cost. In the 2004 statistical report of sexual assaults provided by the university, 32 out of 36 assaults of first, second or third degree involving acquainted victims and assailants involved alcohol or drugs. In the case of fourth degree assault, two-thirds involved alcohol or drugs. Most disconcertingly, these numbers represent only those assaults reported to police.
I reserve my right to party, and I do not intend to preach, but I do concern myself with the well-being of my fellow Badgers. Clearly, alcohol threatens the safety of the campus community. The repercussions of assault include many dimensions of physical and mental damage that often remain unseen. I believe that by accepting the poll as an honor, students inadvertently and ignorantly reinforce this silent crisis.
The UW-Madison administratio has fought a decade-long battle against the work-hard, party-hard reputation, and the student body should support this effort. Instead, students suffer from a severe identity crisis: If we aren't the number one party school, then what are we? It is time we reconcile with the fact that our identity is not determined by our blood alcohol content.
As long as Madison is located in Wisconsin, beer will course through Badger veins. I call for a change in mentality, not necessarily a change in drinking habits. Students need to debunk the notion that binge drinking always equals fun. I have never experienced a ""fun"" hangover, a ""fun"" walk of shame, a ""fun"" underage drinking ticket or a ""fun"" assault.
In response to the ranking, Chancellor John Wiley declared the report a ""junk science that results in a day of national media coverage."" Well, it seems binge drinkers do not get negative publicity in moderation either: In addition to the one day of media coverage for the Princeton Review, Madison students vandalize and burn their reputation into public consciousness every Halloween. Drunken students endure mace, tasers, cuffs and fines, and they do it at the expense of the student body's health, safety, education and national reputation.
As a concession to my possibly inebriated audience, I propose a toast. I will not toast to this year's award as the No. 1 drinking school in the nation, but rather to the possibilities of the future. We do not need to bump Brigham Young University from the number one position in the ""stone cold sober"" category; we just need to find a new identity and a new mindset.
