The spectacle that is the NFL draft will be upon us Saturday morning and while there is still ambiguity over who will be selected with the top overall pick, a more important question begs to be answered: What if Wisconsin pulls a draft coup d'etat and snags multiple first-round selections like Miami in 2004 when the Hurricanes produced an NFL-record six first-round selections?
In honor of mock drafts everywhere and Mel Kiper's Big Hair Board, I present to you the first annual Mock Mock NFL Draft. Wisconsin will set a new NFL record as seven former Badgers will be selected in the first round.
In the surprise of the draft, San Diego will select Matt Katula with the No. 12 overall pick. However, Katula, who did not want to be selected by the Chargers prior to the draft, will force a trade. The Giants, still in search of a reliable long-snapper, will exchange current long-snapper Ryan Kuehl for Katula.
Minnesota will select Anthony Davis at No. 18. The Vikings seem to have an affinity for speedy, inconsistent, oft-injured former UW running backs, and Davis fits the mold. And with the Vikings' log-jam at running back, selecting Davis defies all logic, as head coach Mike Tice is prone to do.
(But on a serious note, I think Tice-despite cooling trade rumors-may look to package one or both of his picks in exchange for 2006 Super Bowl tickets. Demand is starting to heat up.)
Baltimore, at No. 22, will pounce on Scott Starks and his ball-hawking abilities to replace Deion Sanders at nickelback. Sanders, however, will return next season to instruct Starks on the finer points of touchdown celebrations.
Green Bay will select Erasmus James at No. 24. The Packers prefer defensive ends with hyphens in their names, proven by Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila and R-Kal Truluck. In an instant display of team solidarity, James will re-christen himself 'Raz-Jam.
New England will turn heads at No. 32, selecting Jim Leonhard. The Patriots are in need of depth at linebacker, but Leonhard will silence his critics once again, contributing as a combo safety/linebacker in Bill Belichek's \walk-on"" package.
That's five of seven Badger first-rounders. So what about the other two first-round selections?
Elsewhere in the supplemental draft, Anttaj Hawthorne and Jonathan Clinkscale will be selected one-two by E Cannabis Unum and the American Hemp League.
Bust out the celebratory bong, gentlemen.
Clint is a senior majoring in journalism and is graduating in May. He can be reached at cjrobus@wisc.edu.
