\A hitting clinic,"" were the only words Mayor Dave Cieslewicz could find to describe The Daily Cardinal's play in the annual softball game held between the Badger Herald and the Daily Cardinal Friday afternoon at Vilas Park. The Mayor threw out the first pitch and stayed around long enough to see the Herald surrender the first five of 11 runs that the Cardinal scored in route to the 11-2 drubbing.
The game was all that any fan of newspapers, softball or binge drinking could hope for. The Daily Cardinal, headed by their emotional and spiritual leader ""Shoeless"" Alex Balistreri, arrived at Vilas Park with a fire in their eyes and an unstoppable thirst for victory.
""Five score and 13 years ago, our forefathers brought forth a paper united in integrity, friendship and the ability to win softball games,"" Balistreri said.
Once the revered Balistreri had made his speech and motivated his troops, the team of destiny, helmed by sophomore Manager of the Year Connor McKnight, began to administer the beating of a lifetime to The Badger Herald.
In the first inning alone, the Cardinal scored five runs on the strength of junior shortstop Luke Behnke, who broke the game wide open with the first two RBIs of the game, and junior left fielder Jon McNamara, who drove in what would prove to be the wining run.
The offensive juggernaut of the Cardinal scored three runs before the second out of the inning was even recorded. After the Herald managed to stop the barrage of hits, the Cardinal took their dominance to the field.
Toeing the rubber for the Cardinal was Cy Young winner senior Clint Robus. In short, Robus pitched a gem. He scattered six hits over a complete game effort and only let in one earned run while a mishap in the field (certainly caused by intense amounts of alcohol) led to another.
""I've never seen anything like it,"" ESPN's Peter Gammons said of Robus' heroic outing. ""It was such a gift to the Cardinal that they could ride Robus like that and count on perfection all game.""
A McKnight double in the third scored the Cardinal's sixth run of the game while in the fourth inning a towering three-run home run by the Cardinal's own senior Adam Bissen completed the masterpiece, which marked a season sweep in the annual football/softball rivalry.
After the Cardinal rushed the mound to hoist Robus on their shoulders and celebrate their win, the SPJ-winning paper celebrated until their competitive spirts were satisfied and their vision blurred.
-Compiled from staff reports.
