Well, \W"" has not been ""slashed,"" a shrub has not been replanted in Texas and, somewhat paradoxically, abstinence has not been practiced though B*sh has definitively not been f*cked.
While few certainties exist for the four years ahead, and while things may look dismal in the immediate electoral aftermath, in due time, the Bushisms shall return, heroes such as the humble pretzel will emerge and our collective capacity for self-delusion shall be rejuvenated.
Indeed, the easily amused must soldier on to carry the doctrine of ""if you can't beat them, laugh at them while invoking their downfall"" to the substantial dissenting minority.
Already there's talk of potential change afoot within the administration-even of kicking Johnny Boy Ashcroft, my dear, off-key kook of an attorney general, to the proverbial curb.
Truly, there is still hope for the future, but realizing it will require the president to make some serious shifts. Though personnel changes are a good start, Bush may need to invent some entirely new cabinet positions. Not only will this finally create a few jobs, but it will go a long way toward melding this nation's divisions.
For instance, as his own officials have stated, it's not a matter of if terrorists will attack again but when. Should the evil-doers strike soon, the old standby of passing blame to the previous presidency, while likely??far from impossible for this ""group of folks"" to pull off, would be problematic.
Bush could instead fabricate a few posts solely to provide a ready stock of satisfying fall guys should the need arise; heads of departments committed to hollow yet plausible-sounding causes such as ""elevation of interior intelligence efficacy,"" or ""promotion of equal rights.""
Also, conspiracy theories may well persist in breeding distrust, and Bush should take steps to be more open to truth. Enter the new undersecretary for the unraveling of unsubstantiated yarns, director of draft denial and, just in case, the mystery bulge debunking minister (the Clinton jokes there alone will fuel bipartisanship).
But any effective leader can't spend all his time in reality, by now, it's relatively common, unnerving knowledge that Bush actually believes God communicates with him. But, as Dubya was so very fond of reminding us during the debates, being the president is hard work. Should Bush really be asked to drop an official report, a counterterrorism briefing or the new issue of Highlights with the especially rockin' hidden picture puzzle at a moment's notice to receive a divine dispatch on an Almighty's whim'.
It's high time to appoint a deity communique liaison to intercept messages from above and then pass them to the anointed one in the Oval Office at his convenience, not His, so Bush can continue doing that unknown thing he does so well that inspired the people to, this time, legitimately choose him as their leader.
Now that Bush has been elected (yes, the ""re"" is an intentional omission), all is not lost. If nothing else, we can take pride in the fact that we no longer have to be ashamed or angered by an ineffectual and corrupt electoral infrastructure-now, we can be ashamed and angered by 51 percent of our fellow citizens instead, and that's always more fun.
