An open letter to fall:
I want you to leave. I know, it's not often I'm this forward, but I have had enough of these shenanigans. For instance, just yesterday, an acorn fell from a tree and hit me square on the head while I was walking home. I am taking this as a sign that you are almost on your way out, but I am asking you to expedite this process.
Leaves are finally looking like little sunburns and are beginning to drop from the trees en masse. Birds are flying south to visit elderly birds in condos. All of the good season premieres have come and gone, and holiday decorations have appeared at the mall. (I could have sworn I saw a picture of a kid sitting on Santa's lap in a Halloween costume.) See? I can tell you are weakening. Don't delay the inevitable. The five months of Wisconsin winter are upon us and, unlike many people, I cannot wait to get started.
Now don't get me wrong autumn, I think you're cool too. You give me the opportunity to go to the pumpkin patch and drink cider. But that's just not enough anymore. You're probably thinking that winter isn't all that it is cracked up to be, but let me be the first to say that in a battle royale, winter would kick your ass. Here are a handful of the reasons why:
In my 14 years as a Madisonian, I have never seen anything so beautiful as a snow-covered downtown. I moved here from California, and during my first winter, we had a record-breaking blizzard. So if anyone would have a reason to hate this time of year it would be me. But not a chance. Winter and I have had a love affair since the first flake hit the ground. (Don't tell summer, we don't need any more drama).
What other time can you cross country ski down the sidewalk, or bundle up like you're trekking to base camp on Mt. Everest when you're just going out to lunch? spring? I don't think so. Or the hockey fans, they can head to one of the many parks here and catch some of the pick-up games, and maybe even join in themselves. Could this happen in the summer time? Heck no, unless the goalie is a good swimmer.
And winter would be nothing without great clothes. I get to slap on my lucky hat and wear the scarves and gloves that go lonely and unnoticed most of the year. Plus I get to put on layers and layers of cute long-sleeve shirts, and if it's cold enough, a face mask. Do these opportunities arise in September? Nope, I would get pit stains on all my tops.
So you see, fall, I don't mean to be a buzz kill or anything, but you have had your time. We get it, you come in and ring in the start of school, kill off the plants and make apple picking seem remotely fun and exciting. But it's November, and despite what the calendar says, winter needs to start now. So please, for the snowman, skiing, sledding, hot chocolate and snowball fight lover in all of us-get the hell out of the way.
Erin Canty is sophomore majoring in education. Her column runs every Monday in The Daily Cardinal. She can be reached at erincanty8285@hotmail.com
