Well, gang, it's that time of year again. So fire up your computers, uncap your pens and catch up on the related literature, because if you don't start planning your spring break now, you'll be sorry.
Some spots are hot and others less so, but it really comes down to two things: price and trip dynamics. I'll handle the latter, but will have to enlist some help for the former. Chadbourne kids: Break out your TI-83s and crunch some numbers for us. Here, here's some pizza. You probably like pizza.
Now, when it comes to finding a spring break destination that suits you, there are three basic questions: What is my major, how am I getting there and who else is going? The first is especially important.
For instance, if you're a womens studies major, you might not enjoy spending the break in Cancun. But if your major is less concerned with problems such as the objectification of women and rampant use of date-rape drugs (most notably alcohol), Cancun might be just fine. Similarly, if you're an Italian major, you probably won't enjoy spring break in Italy. Sure, your trip would be long enough to realize you can't speak the language, but you wouldn't have the time to really get serious about drinking large amounts of wine.
How you get there matters, too. Some may disagree, but I say it's not really spring break unless it's a road trip. When you fly somewhere, that's called a vacation, and that is not what spring break is about. Long, torturous traffic jams, small-town right-wing radio, road-food farts; these things are important. Not only for the camaraderie they build, but also as a launching pad of sorts for your experience once you reach your destination. If it's too easy to get there, it won't seem worth it when you arrive.
But going with the right people is just as important. Any group should have at least one of the following:
u The fast driver. Reckless or graceful, the only requirement here is a commitment to speed. Your pulse may mimic the speedometer, but when you hit Northern Florida at 2 a.m., this person's worth will become clear.
u The empathetic bladder. It's easier to say you have to go if you know someone else will, too.
u Emilio Estevez. Simultaneously upbeat and haunted, Emilio's presence in the car will help smooth over minor disputes. His small stature makes him an excellent candidate for the middle seat, and it is a rare spring break moment that isn't improved by a well-delivered line from \Mighty Ducks.""
u Person without nickname. If everyone on the trip already has a viable nickname, ones imposed on the trip won't stick. Don't deny yourself the opportunity to return to Madison with someone who will go through the rest of college known as ""Nuzzles"" or ""Squirts.""
Once you've settled on a destination and established your crew, there's nothing left to do but sit back and count the days. Don't ruin the spontaneity of the trip by making hotel reservations or pre-purchasing tickets to popular attractions. If the clerk at the Huckleberry Finn Motel and Caf?? says they're booked up or if snorkeling lessons are sold out or if the tour guide keeps upping the price, remember Emilio's advice to the Ducks before their first game: ""Take the fall, act hurt, get indignant.""
