Every time I watch sports, I notice that it only takes one sound to force me to drop everything I'm doing and look at the TV. It is the Pavlovian response to the in-game updates that flash across the bottom of the screen.
The updates are valuable. One can watch a Badger game in relative peace, knowing that should the Duke Blue Devils be down in the second half, we will find out. The problem is when it goes too far.
The myriad of sports broadcasts I have seen have conditioned me to always be on the lookout for the latest news. The simple rhythm that ESPN plays at 28 and 58 after the hour can force me away from life-and-death situations.
I am hooked on finding out everything available about sports. As a result, the major networks have been forced to cater to me and those who suffer from the same affliction. They know that to avoid viewers going into withdrawal, they must provide late-breaking news no matter what it is.
Lately the problem is getting worse. Midway through writing a thesis statement for a paper, I heard that simple tune come out of my TV and immediately turned my head and forgot whatever I was about to write. The news that came up regarded fishing. I put my Russian grade in jeopardy to find out who caught the elusive large mouth bass?
Of course I continue to make the mistake over and over, holding out hope that something important will pop up in that little bar on the screen. Occasionally you will be treated, but not often enough.
Usually you will receive lame injury reports. While it is important to announce when Baron Davis will return, it is unnecessary to inform me that a defenseman on the New York Rangers' practice squad broke his wrist.
It is too late for me, but if you are not yet hooked by the Pavlovian response associated with watching sports, make sure you don't get sucked in.
Check for sports updates online. Don't waste time sitting through National Bowling Championship results when all you want to know is how many kilos Shawn Kemp was busted with this time.
If you are already hooked then here are some coping strategies. Mute the TV while on the phone; family and friends get offended when you zone out in the middle of a conversation. Also, try not to carry anything because that certain sound may cause you to lose concentration and drop it.
Beyond that, have fun finding out who won synchronized swimming this weekend. Don't bother telling me; unfortunately I will already know.
