The Daily Cardinal, the university's oldest independent student newspaper will face off against its journalistic rival The Badger Herald, in the best drinking contest/worst football game on campus. Historically, the folks at Vilas Hall have dominated this matchup but last year the scrappy ragamuffins from Gorham Street managed to squeak out a victory. This year the Cardinal is back with a vengeance and a reloaded arsenal of offensive weapons, including but not limited to, Leif \The Impaler"" Griffin and Dan ""Thunder"" O'Brien, the hard-drinking and hard-hitting lad from Ireland.
""I think it's great that the two rival papers are going to settle their differences on the field,"" said Gov. Scott McCallum, who last year was inducted into the Macalester College Sports Hall of Fame. ""After all, a governor only hopes to compete on a fair playing field, but you guys have an opportunity to do that today!?? Of course I can't play favorites, but for the record, I think the editor of the Cardinal is doing a fine job this semester.""
Watch for the new Cardinal quarterback, Gregg ""Outboard"" Sparks, to get the offense some points early when he connects with the receiving tandem of Ben ""Aloha"" Sykes and Matthew ""Shutterbug"" Kutz.
""I have two words for The Badger Herald staff: blood bath,"" Classified Manager and tight end Eric Olsen said.
The game always comes down to one or two key plays. Watch for Justin ""A-bomb"" Damm to come up with the big plays for the Cardinal crew.
""I really like whiskey, and playing football,"" Damm said.
With that sort of go get 'em attitude, expect Cardinal victory and look for the Herald staffers' moms cheering for the Cardinal.
After the Cardinal wins, they will go out and celebrate in style. The Badger Herald, meanwhile, will frequent one of their seven favorite burrito joints on State Street.
