Oh, to be a small overlooked diner full of friendly patrons on a sunny Sunday noon time. But which one of the Madison diners to be? Bennett's? No, because that old guy is just a little creepy in his penis hat. Mickie's Dairy Bar? No, it's too crowded and full of rowdy stadium folks. Monty's Blue Plate Diner? No, because the diner kitsch is a little too forced, like a House of Blues or Spices with a lot of tile. They all have their own merits, but none of them feel quite so inviting (and I strive to be inviting) as Cleveland's Diner.
Situated at 410 E. Wilson St. and almost overlooking the lake, Cleveland's Diner is as unassuming as a restaurant can be. The outside is identifiable by the window covered with pink, yellow and green flyers for concerts and the sporty Cleveland's Diner logo. It's a very baseball-inspired font. The presence of ads for the Mallards, or whatever that local baseball team is, reinforces the whole baseball feel. There aren't many tables inside, and you might have to wait to get a bite. What else are you gonna do? The wait is just as long at any of the other diners. Just tell your friends to meet you there and one is bound to be late. You can spend the wait griping about how your friend is whipped or lazy or both. Anyway, they've only got about six tables. The maximum capacity has to be about 30, and that's including the diner bar. The waitresses and host are really quite nice about the whole waiting thing. Last time I was there we had a group of five and had to wait about 20 minutes. They must have apologized three times. Inviting, like I said. There's some crazy old crap on the wall to look at, but it doesn't seem calculated. More like the owner found this stuff in his garage and decided it would look nice on a wall or a shelf. I personally like it better that way. If you prefer well thought out theme decoration you might as well skip breakfast and go to Carlos O' Kelley's for dinner. They have old pictures of Mexicans.
The menu is nothing particularly special. You can get an omelet or some pancakes or a breakfast sandwich. Most things come with hash browns, just like a lot of diners. I had the country fried steak with a couple of eggs and hash browns. The steak was quite good and delivered by the highly affable cook as my \mister steak."" Maybe he was referring to me as Mr. Steak, but I don't think so. The orange juice was also referred to as a ""big juice."" As in, ""Oops, I forgot your big juice."" Levity aside, the mister steak was actually a fairly original tasting chicken, or country fried steak. You can tell it's marinated in buttermilk. One time I used cultured buttermilk and it turned out tasting like a stroganhoff. This was a lot better than my failed attempt. The steak didn't shred like beef jerky, which can happen. I can't think of anything better on Sunday morning than dipping some breaded steak into egg yolk. The pancakes are good enough. Not as good as Mickie's Dairy Bar's pancakes, but good. The Denver omelet is similarly good. The grill is kept very clean, so it's a very clean omelet. All the vegetables are very fresh tasting. It looks like something that would come out of one of those omelet makers that you see on TV. You know the ones that come out looking all fresh instead of having to deal with all that oil in the pan which that disembodied hand is forever struggling with, tearing and casting the eggs all over. Yeah, it's like the omelet maker omelet. Professional. Same thing with the perfectly stacked breakfast sandwich. The cook isn't as rushed as the ones at places like Mickie's, and it shows in the presentation and the general laid back atmosphere. There's no hooting or yelling. No one screaming, ""This is gooood coffee"" at a harried waitress. There are just a few 20-somethings at tables and a couple of old regulars sitting at the bar.
You can get breakfast at a lot of places. Some of them may even have better breakfast food than Cleveland's. But I don't feel like I can swear in a normal tone at the Sunroom, and I've already discussed some other options. Nick's can be a bit dark and depressing for breakfast and I'd just waste money on a beer I don't need. The only thing I wish I could change about Cleveland's is the hours. If they would just be open 24 hours and serve burgers and breakfast, like a George Webb'Milwaukee-area people, you know what I mean'it would be so fantastic that I would never write about anything else. I mean, it's already set up like a George Webb. Still, if I could be any diner in town, I would be affable little Cleveland's Diner. I'd tell you all to come on down to me for some coffee and some eggs, but you wouldn't be able to smoke in me. Yeah, there's no smoking and I still like it. That's a testament.
