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Wednesday, February 21, 2024

Let's get Flaccid (Ernie)!

The hottest thing to emerge from Indiana since Bobby Knight's temper, rock trio Flaccid Ernie is ready to burst upon the newly burgeoning revival scene already inhabited by bands like The Hives and The White Stripes. Their catchy melodies, semi-literate lyrics and no-holds-barred rock 'n' roll are sure to catch on amongst hipsters everywhere. Now touring in support of their debut album Sun, Shine On Me, they roll into the Radical Rye on Tuesday night. The band sat down with Cardinal Arts to discuss rock, roll and ABC's Friday night lineup. 




How's the tour going? 




The groupies aren't what I expected, as in there aren't any. Other than that, just great. We're delivering the rock in all the right places. Assuming, of course, all the right places are very small, sparsely attended venues. Also, I want our fans to know they can contact us at  




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What are you influenced by, in songwriting and in life as a whole? 




Booze, uppers and a heartfelt, albeit pathetic, love for women. 




The Scoundrels. Only their early recordings, of course. 




Avant-garde cartoons, like \Blood Tree"" and ""Circuit Sandwich."" 




Oh, and Crass. 




What can you tell us about your album Sun, Shine On Me? 




Basically, we're demanding more from our light source. We think the sun hasn't been following through on its responsibilities lately. [lots of hacking sounds] I'm going to go make a cigarette. 




Any racquetball during recording? 








So, how would you say the TV show ""Family Matters"" [a mid-'90s sitcom focused around the wacky exploits of Steve Urkel and the Winslow family] has influenced your work? 




Good question. The answer is quite a bit. I take it you've heard our song ""Eddo"". Well, that's about Eddie Winslow, from the point of view of his friend Waldo Faldo. It goes, ""Eddo, Eddo let's go get some orange drink / It's pretty cool / You tricked out your car, Eddo / It's pretty cool / The engine's coming through the hood."" I think that's one of our best, something the audience can really relate to. 




Of course, there's also ""The Tower of Dreams"" and ""You're Not My Original Mom,"" which were partially inspired by the show as well. 




Remember that episode where Eddie and Waldo were on the fire escape and it just started spinning around? That was so cool. 




Yeah, you're right. That was cool. 




Charlie, how do you get that great Harriet Winslow effect with your voice? Do you use a pedal? 




No, I just practice saying ""Carl!"" a lot. Sometimes I make meatloaf and pretend that Carl's mom doesn't like it, but that's about all the preparation I do. 




Your song, ""Shoot the Gun,"" has garnered a lot of bad press for glorifying violence. What does the song mean to you? 




We don't necessarily mean you should take a gun and shoot it. Sometimes your heart is like a revolver, you know. It's a metaphor. 




That's the most romantic thing you've ever said. Very Bon Jovi of you. 








You recently opened up for Ye Olde Castletons. How was that? 




I don't really like anything about them, to tell you the truth. Funny story, actually. We toured with them for five dates and I kept meaning to listen to them. I never got around to it, though. When it comes down to brass tacks, I'd rather play pinball, I guess. 




What would you say your song ""Something To Hide"" is about? 




Well, for the most part it's about Rip Taylor. We were just intrigued with the irony of his name because, you know, tailors don't rip, they sew. Rip Torn, now there's a guy who's name makes sense, but Rip Taylor? The song just wrote itself after that. 




As rock stars, what's your favorite medication? 




The red ones. 




Longboarding: pros and cons? 




Pro: It goes really fast. 




Con: The board is too long. 




Pro: Has wheels. 




Con: They're expensive. 




Glad to get that settled once and for all. What would you say is your message? 




I don't know if we have one. Maybe, ""It's snowing, sometimes.""  




Very true. I like that. 




I'm going to the lighthouse. 




Why the hell did you say that? 




It lends me some mystique, you know. You need that as a rock star. 




Oh, I get it. Myself, I live for the sea.  




Aye, but she's a salty mistress.

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